LDS Pals

CARMSTRONG9090 - 59 year old woman from California

LDS Singles carmstrong9090
Woman
59 years old
Black Hair
Brown Eyes
5 ft.  4 in.
Above Average Build
Divorced
College Graduate
California
Mission: yes
Temple Recommend
Not Endowed
Regularly Attends Church
2 Children, 2 at home
My Introduction:

Walking in truth

There is a reason for this being called a "singles" website and there is a reason why "married" is not an option in the pull-down menu for marital status. It was probably a Freudian slip but in one of her many Internet profiles, my wife mentioned that money is “very” important to her. What she neglects to mention is that money is so important to her that after filing for a divorce she committed state and federal offenses by forging my signature on our tax refund checks and some of the money, that should have been used to pay for Utah state taxes, was sent to her family in the Philippines instead. It would appear that my wife did not read the second page of her copy of our divorce summons which addresses standard family law restraining orders. It would also appear that she has reached the depths of being immoral and unethical. It seems that as long as CA909 or CArmstrong909 can justify her crimes then it is okay for her to ignore even religious commandments such as, “You must not steal.” When we first met, it was based on her religion that I thought that she would be fair and honest. I see now that she is neither.

You should seriously consider your involvement with CA909 / CArmstrong909/ShadowUS/Gemini92373/CA92373 at this time. She is NOT single and you will be dragged into what has become a messy divorce and that is probably the last thing that you had in mind when you signed up to become a member of this LDS/Mormon “singles” website. As a member of my wife’s audience of potential suitors, I believe that there are facts that you should know.

It was recently brought to my attention that my wife is soliciting male “friendship” while using LDS/Mormon singles websites such as this one. That sounds harmless enough but my wife has used these websites to express her bad feelings about me and to “air her dirty laundry”. My wife wants to be a part of these social networks but doesn’t want to be good netizen by telling the truth about who she really is or her current situation. Instead, she would prefer to lie to you and to lie about members of her own church and family. My wife is only telling you half the truth in order to get you to like a part of her that is pretentious because she knows that if you knew the real content of her character then there would be no possibility of you having any respect for her, let alone like for her. My wife is not being honest with you in representing our current marital status nor is she being honest with you about our current living arrangement. In essence, my wife is deceiving you just as she has been deceiving me, her family, her friends and her church. She has been living a deceptive and secret life on the Internet, as far as I know, since April of 2008. When initially asked about these “activities” she justified it by calling it “role playing”. I call it lying, immoral and risky. She lives in a dream world. Here again, my wife has made the choice to ignore the fundamental commandments or controls that go along with hers or any other religion.

I am typically a very reserved and private person but when I found my wife’s profile that included pictures of our home and children on the Internet and when I read the messages to and from her Internet boyfriends painting me in a bad light, I determined that the truth had to be told. I’m writing this message to let you know that my family is real and the story that you are about to read is real. Although this appears to be a television soap opera, the situation and the people involved are all real and as a result, I interpret the risks that go along with the behavior that she displays on the Internet and her cell phone as being just as real.

Even though my wife expresses her desire to get a divorce almost every 28 days, the individual that goes by member ID CA909 or CArmstrong909 on these LDS/Mormon singles websites is NOT divorced. My wife’s monthly threats of divorce have been going on since the beginning of our marriage, which was almost 14 years ago. My wife wants all the benefits and comforts of our marriage but does not want to be fully committed to it. My wife has been on these Mormon “singles” websites since April of 2008 but she didn’t file for a divorce until June of 2008. Interestingly, April of 2008 is the date that she entered on her divorce papers for when she separated from her husband. To my surprise, I had no idea that we were separated. In fact, until the 2nd day in July of 2008, I had no idea that my wife had even filed for a divorce, meaning that we were not and currently are not separated, either legally or physically -- and it is now July of 2009.

Just before filing for a divorce, my wife was caught living her secret Internet life and sending sexy pictures of herself to her Internet male “friends” and encouraging them to call her. Whenever I mention our impending divorce to our friends and members of our family, their response is always concern for our children. Since filing for a divorce appears to be her reaction to getting caught, it would lead one to believe that she had a total disregard for what a divorce would do to her own two young children as well as to other members of her family that we provide care and support for. I don’t think that she realizes that her total disregard for her children’s concern will have an impact on their current lifestyle and as a result the way they will live for the rest of their lives.

Just to let you know, we currently live together in the same house and even share the same bed. In a message such as this, I don’t want to be too explicit so I will leave it to your imagination as to why I was unaware that we were “supposedly” separated going back as far as April of 2008. I guess we are separated in my wife’s mind whenever it was convenient for her. She has told people on the Internet that we do not love our house. I’m not sure who “we” is in those conversations but my children and certainly I love our house and we get an immense amount of joy from it. I would have to believe that my wife does as well, i.e., if she didn’t love it then why did she proudly post pictures of it on these web sites?

Also living with us is her elderly mother whom, at the insistence of my wife, I sponsored (along with my wife’s elderly father) to come to the United States from the Philippines. My wife “uses” her mother to “assist” her with her responsibilities *Email Blocked*, when I say “use”, I really mean use. Basically, her mother does ALL of the house work! It’s so unfortunate because her mother is elderly and has arthritis. She loves to work in the yard planting and grooming flowers. There have been times when I’ve come home and her mother makes it a point to show me how swollen her fingers are from her arthritis. I find it unfortunate that her own daughter uses her to wash our clothes and clean our house while spending hours upon hours on the Internet or at the YMCA or on her precious elliptical machine. Yet when CA909 comes into our house she enters through the laundry and won’t even bother with putting cloths in the washer or the dryer on wash day. And, when her mother is folding clothes, there is never an offer of assistance. And, when her mother is done folding the clothes, the clothes will just sit there on our kitchen table until anyone but her puts them away. Unlike her mother, I see it as an opportunity and use it to teach our children that they need to be responsible by taking their folded cloths to their rooms and put them away.

Ironically, my wife even used her own mother to serve me with the divorce papers. In the Philippines, they don’t have divorce and her mother told me that she had no idea what the papers were about and since my wife often does not communicate with her mother, I have no reason not to believe her. I explained the document to my mother-in-law and read to her the portion that says, “You are being sued.”

When my mother-in-law is here, my wife shares a bed with her in our downstairs bedroom. Knowing about how her daughter is, my mother-in-law once told me that she often prays for her in hopes that she would become a better person. I couldn’t help but reply to her that while she is on her knees on one side of the bed praying her daughter is on her knees on the other side of the bed with prayers of her own. Then after her prayer has been issued, she takes action by getting off her knees and getting on her laptop. I tried to explain to my mother-in-law that sometimes that prayer that is answer is the prayer that is followed up on with action and one would have to wonder to what extent prayer had to do with it.

You should also note that the pictures that my wife posted on these LDS/Mormon singles websites are pictures that were recently taken in and around our home where we live together with our two children, ages 4 and 10. To my surprise, some of the pictures that my wife posted were even taken by and include our children, whom I’m sure had no idea that their mother would use them to post on a Mormon ‘singles’ websites. As you can imagine, I’m concerned about how this might affect them later on in their lives. In today’s information society anything and anyone can be searched on the Internet. Based on my own search results, I have no doubt that someday our children will find the many postings and “singles” website memberships that my wife belonged to during her marriage to their father. One can’t help but wonder why she didn’t ask the members of her church to take pictures of her to post to these singles websites and if she doesn’t “love” her home, as she puts it, then why not take pictures of herself while at church or while visiting the nearby Temple, which she says she loves? Instead, she chose to take advantage of the innocence of her own children in order to post pictures of them and our home on many LDS singles websites.

My wife is taking us down a very dangerous path that will have an ever lasting impact on all of us. I have a special relationship with my children and I had hoped that their lives and their lifestyle would not change. But it looks like it will come to an end soon and I realize that I need to begin the process of helping them figure out how to deal with the change as well as figure out how I can assist them in ways other than providing this house for them to live in since it is entirely possible that it will be lost as a result of the divorce process.

During one of her “role playing” episodes with her main Internet boyfriend, my wife claimed to have property in San Diego. The truth is that the property is my name because her credit was so bad that she couldn’t qualify. And even though the loan officers and brokers warned her that the deal was not good, at the threat of divorce she insisted that I buy the property. Later, I found out that her Filipina real estate agent had promised her that she would make thirty thousand dollars on quick turn-around. To this day, I don’t believe that my wife thoroughly understands that she was victim of a scam and was scammed by a fellow Filipina. Even though she wrote a three page angry letter to her fellow Filipina real estate agent, to me she insists that the deal went bad because of a bad economy. Yet, no where in the letter does she once mention the economy. What a mixed up individual. As materialistic as she is, I’m sure that my value to her has diminished considerably now that “her” rental property has gone into foreclosure thus the hunt for her next “sugar daddy”. The sad thing about the whole “property in San Diego” mess is that my wife considers herself a real estate agent. She’s a real estate agent that takes advantage of her family for her own material gains. Based on the past due property tax notices and credit card bills that come to our house in the name of her siblings and her parents, I know that she has property in their names as well but she has yet to disclose how much, where the property is or with whom. The problem that I see with people like her is that they always think that you are doing what they are doing and will do everything that they can to justify their actions. I don’t have property in my name or in the names of members of my family and I’m not on the Internet searching for someone of my religion while being married to someone else. In her need to justify her actions, she has searched to see and has found nothing because there is nothing to be found. I have nothing to hide.

Through deceptive and secretive acts, my wife demonstrates that she has low moral standards that are increasingly difficult for me to accept. She has definite double-standards, in that she expects me to pay for services such as the Internet and her cell phone, both of which she uses to contact her Internet boyfriends. My wife does not assist in paying ANY of our budgeted household expenses. Yet, she considers the cell phone and the Internet hers for her “private” use to talk about me behind my back and to invite her male “friends” into our home via the Internet – so far. I never imagined that I would be this disappointed in an individual but I am so disappointed in her. As a result, I have no problem with getting a divorce. In fact, based on her true nature (which she describes as being part of her DNA) and her recent activities when coupled with her very recent racial slurs and online slanders about me to her male “friends”, I believe that it would be in the best interest of both of us as well as our children. It’s time to stop “wishing backwards” and to start moving forward.

It is obvious now that this individual has no desire to change her character and I look forward to when I can say that CA909 or CArmstrong909 is no longer my wife and she does not represent me or my family’s name. As a Temple Recommend Mormon, she is a representative of the church of Latter Day Saints. I am actually relieved that this ordeal will finally be over. Like my wife’s mother, who recently decided to give up the fight with her daughter and to go live with her other daughter that lives in the state of Washington, I too have given up on this 13 year struggle with what has become a hypocritical and unpredictable monster. I’ve learned that if you can’t TRUST your partner or the person that you’re married to and they insist on living a secret life behind closed (and often locked) doors, then you have no relationship and if legally married, then you have no marriage. There’s nothing to save! Not only does she insist on biting the hand that feeds her but in the case of her mother, my wife insists on biting the hand that is performing her household duties while she’s out being disrespectful. It seems that as long as CArmstrong909 can justify her actions then it is okay for her to ignore religious commandments or controls such as, “Respect your father and mother.”

Sadly, in our case, there are two children involved and it is for that reason alone that I ask that you not contact my wife until we are legally (and/or physically) separated or divorced. For some strange reason, my wife has immaturely justified here actions and she sees no problem or harm with what she is doing. It may be a cultural difference since there is no legal divorce process in the Philippines. Who knows? In either case, I’m hoping that you are mature enough to understand and have respect for our laws, our culture and our customs. As mentioned, my wife has been doing this since April of 2008 and has apparently gone through a justification process in her mind in order to get to the insane point that she is at right now. Her own LDS/Mormon home teacher has said that in her mind, we were separated in April of 2008 and are now divorced. And, when mentioning this to the courts, she indicates that the reason that she selected ‘Divorced’ for her Internet singles profile on these LDS websites, is because ‘Married’ was not an option. Yet, amazingly, she refers to me as her “ex-husband” when “chatting” with her male “friends” and when “role playing” and inviting them to our house for dinner. She purposely neglects to tell them (i.e., you) that she is still married, lives with her husband and is raising two children.

For me, her family, her close friends and members of her church, this was a big surprise since she had been doing this in such secrecy. As my attorney points out, the process for the rest of us is just beginning and she is far ahead of us. As far as the kids go, they know very little of this but are learning more and more with each passing day and with each argument that they observe. I honestly believe that my wife filed for a divorce during one of her emotional rages and with complete disregard of the emotional impact that it would have on our two children as well as her mother and other members of her family.

For someone that professes to love her children, like she does in her Internet profiles, I find that shameful. When a loving mother comes home at night, I would think that she would be anxious to see her babies, yet I have to plead with my wife to go upstairs and say hello or good night to her own kids after not seeing them all day. They know that she has arrived and I can only wonder what goes through their little minds knowing that their mother is home and won’t greet them unless for some reason they acknowledge her first.

Yesterday (i.e., 05/09/09 – the day before mother’s day), the kids and I went to the park where they had fun rolling down a hill. My daughter began to get itchy so we decided to leave so that they could both take a bath. My wife was home and decided to do her Karaoke “thing” downstairs. I asked her to please turn it down because our daughter was in the bath tub and I needed to hear her in case she needed something. She replied that I should just go in there with her. Even though she would not turn the volume down, I decided to just let it go since I was in no mood to argue with her. My daughter is becoming of the age where she wants her mother to spend more time with her and when I checked on our daughter she asked me if I would ask her mom to come help her with her bath and I agreed. I called her mother and let her know that her daughter wanted her. With a great deal of reluctance, she came upstairs but left the Karaoke machine on. I noticed that she was assisting our daughter take a bath so, I went downstairs and turned it off since I was trying to concentrate on something that was work related. After assisting our daughter she went back downstairs and turned it back on and began singing loudly - again. Meanwhile, our daughter was putting her pajamas on and after she was done she picked out a movie and wanted her mother to watch it with her so she called downstairs to her mother again but she couldn’t hear her calls. Eventually our daughter came into our bedroom and asked me to call downstairs to her mother, so I did. I also mentioned to my wife that her daughter simply wants to spend time with her. With a huff of anger, my wife did eventually come upstairs but she let it be known that she was not happy and during our conversation asked that I never call for her at all not even on behalf of our daughter. Fortunately, that request was in a room where the children did not hear her. But as she walked down the hallway, she used other vulgar language that I’m sure that they did hear. While I thought that she came upstairs to watch the movie with our daughter, I found out that she was actually taking a bath in the water that our daughter had just used and our daughter was in her room watching the movie by herself. I asked my daughter if she would like for me to watch the movie with her instead and she said yes. We watched Pinocchio 3000. In that movie there is a character that is not a very nice person and my four year old daughter asked me, “Why is he so evil”. So that I would not make reference to her mother, I hesitated before responding and provided the appropriate response of “I don’t know, he just doesn’t like kids”. Somehow, I think that my four year old daughter was making her own connections. No child should be subject to such cruelty, especially from one of their own parents. I fell asleep before the movie ended, but I would like to think that the evil parent in the movie became a nice parent by the end of the movie. My daughter wanted to watch it again so I went back to my bed and I’m sure that she fell asleep during the second showing. Later on that night when I checked on the kids, I found my wife sleeping with our daughter. I believe that her conscious was bothering her. At least, I hope that it was.

The next day when my wife asked our daughter if she wanted to go to church with her, our daughter replied in a gentle and kind voice but said no. I expected a rude reply from my wife but, if there was one there, she held it in. As a result, my wife spent mother’s day with members of her church instead with her children who had earlier greeted her with the appropriate happy mother’s day and cards that they had proudly made for her at school and daycare. After determining that neither of them wanted to go to church with her, I decided that we would visit my mother and step-mother instead. During the ride, I couldn’t help but wonder how my wife would explain to her church members why her children were not in attendance. I’m sure that my name was used during that conversation, if it occurred. Later on that night, after taking a bath and getting ready for bed, they both eventually looked for their mother who was downstairs exercising on her elliptical machine. My son looked around for her upstairs and when I asked what for, he indicated that he wanted her to read the scriptures to him while he fell asleep. My daughter simply said that she wanted mommy when I checked on her in her room but never said why. I pleaded with both of them to just let it go and to go to sleep, which they eventually did.

I guess I shouldn’t mind being the brunt end of my wife’s hostility because if I weren’t here then it would probably be directed towards my son. I would much rather have her direct her hostility towards me than towards either of them. For our children, their healing process has yet to begin and that is what I would like for you to try and understand most of all. I believe that most everyone involved is now ready to move on but like any state where a lawsuit involves children; I believe that the interest of the children should come first and I would hope that you share that belief. Unfortunately, of everyone involved, they are the ones that are truly being deceived.

My wife currently spends hours “chatting” online with her male “friends”. She is seeking “love” on Mormon singles websites while being legally married to and living with another man. How shameful is that? In my opinion, that in and of itself is an act of adultery and being a fundamental Judeo commandment, I would think that would be against the teachings of the Mormon Church. My wife sends her male “friends” sexy pictures of herself, flirtatious email and Internet messages and even has cell phone conversations with them that last for hours. I know because the calls appear on my telephone bill and I can easily detect the calls to her Internet male “friends” based solely on the amount of time for each call. Yet the amount of time spent talking on the phone with her children is considerably less and on most days nonexistent. When asked about the amount of time that she spends on her cell phone with these individuals, my wife told me not to worry because it was during non-peak hours! With her first interest being that of money, instead of a relationship with her family, she missed the point entirely. I can’t get her to call and check to see how our children are doing but she’ll make a long distance phone call to a man that she has never met and will talk to him for hours because these men make her “feel” good. You can imagine what those conversations were about. I’m sure that they had little or nothing to do with the LDS church or her family.

Based on some of the messages that I’ve seen, I believe that she also exchanges gifts with her Internet boyfriends. I have watched her literally fall asleep with her hands on the keyboard of her laptop while “chatting” online. It’s truly sad because this has become a sick pornographic obsession of hers. It has become her form of adult entertainment. She has said that the men make her feel good about herself. When she said that, I couldn’t help but think about how a drug addict justifies their need. She seems to be reverting back to her roots and acting in a manner in which she conducted herself when living in the Philippines and prior to her religious Mormon conversion. Now her immoral activities are under the disguise of, not only being a member of the LDS/Mormon Church, but a member of the church in good standing. There appears to be an obsessive thrill that she gets out of hearing supposed LDS/Mormon men that she doesn’t even know or that she met on the Internet for the first time, tell her that she is pretty and sexually desirable. I can’t help but wonder about the intent of most of those “Mormon” men. Based on her responses, I'm sure that she is aware of their ultimate intent and I would think that there would be some question as to the Temple worthiness of either party.

I work in the field of computer forensics and it’s amazing to me what people will do and say when they think that neither their God nor their fellow man is watching. Church members as well as her own mother have pleaded with her to discontinue what she is doing and to pay more attention to her family duties and her responsibilities around the home. I don’t know you, but I presume that since you joined this LDS singles network that you are a decent individual that is in search of an honest, descent, non-deceptive, and legally available, Mormon lady. I certainly don’t want to discourage you from your search. I am sure that there are members of this website that are true to their religion and that are honest with their fellowman. In fact, I applaud your effort and only wish that I had been lucky enough to find that type of individual during my correspondence and similar search almost 14 years ago. I can’t stop my wife from having the type of character or personality that she has or from taking advantage of the freewill that God gave all of us or from taking advantage of the comforts that I’ve been so fortunate enough to provide to her, her mother, her family in the Philippines and our children at this time.

In one conversation, my wife scorned one of her potential suitors that she had invited over for dinner during their initial “role playing” encounters because he “kissed” her during their online conversation. And yet, during that same conversation, she “kissed” him not only once but twice. Then, after leading him on, she got angry with him because he wanted more. After he swore at her, she replied with the same expletive and then had the audacity to tell him that Mormons don’t’ talk that way. Can you believe that? What a sick and disgusting individual. Unfortunately, not only does she not see the shame of it all but my wife doesn’t even see the risk in what she is doing by inviting complete strangers over to our house. These are complete strangers! Not only is she self-centered but she is self-destructive.

When I tried to explain the risks to my wife she replied that she could validate their membership through their Mormon Bishops. Once again, she just didn’t get it! I found that response to be so odd. My daughter is of the age now that she wants to spend more and more time with her mother and the last thing that I need is some individual from one of these LDS Singles sites stalking members of my family because of a one night stand that she has promised them simply because they belong to the exclusive Mormonism club. My attorney, who is not Mormon, believes that she belongs to a Mormon sex singles club. I’m not even Mormon and I was offended by his comment because I grew up with Mormons and have many Mormon friends. Even though his comment seemed like an oxymoron, he had read the many messages and had to call as he saw it. I don’t know about that but I do know that she is truly a confused individual when it comes to the Mormon Church. After all, she’s married and living a lie while at the same time trying to validate through the church if someone else is telling her a lie. I can’t help but wonder if she has checked with her own Bishop. Someone needs to straighten her out and it would appear that the church has absolutely no control over her actions and no desire to teach her right from wrong. When I mentioned to her that her home teacher would like for her to stop these types of activities, her reply was simply, “He’s not my Bishop.” She thinks that by calling herself Mormon that she is in a class that makes her better than everyone else. I realize that the LDS Church is a church of exclusion but I didn’t realize that by calling yourself LDS that it gives you the right to have double-standards, to be deceitful, to lie about your marital status and to be disrespectful to members of your family.

My wife has begun to lie so much that it is now difficult to tell when she’s telling the truth. She recently (04/28/09) even implicated the president of the relief society for her Ward in one of her lies by indicating that the president is assisting her with finding a good divorce attorney. Of course, she mentioned this to one of her Internet boyfriends. And, yet that lie was in response to yet another lie, which was to her boyfriend in Virginia after he caught her in the second lie to him about being divorced. Not only was her response filled with lies but it was also filled with excuses for not meeting appointments that are required as part of the divorce process.

Obviously, I can’t defend myself during these “I’ll do it behind his back” conversations that make my wife look so cheap and so low class. I can’t stop her “DNA”, as she puts it, from making her be who she is. I can’t stop her from that but I can stop her from inviting her many male “friends” into our house through the Internet. Somehow, my wife has justified her misuse of our comforts such as her cell phone and the Internet, which is a comfort that I use for my work and that our children use for their entertainment and education.

As a father, I monitor what my children watch on TV and I especially monitor their Internet activity. I’ve told my son that he is not to watch certain shows that I’ve watched with him and found to be offensive to a particular group of people or just plain inappropriate. For his protection, I check my growing son’s email account on almost a daily basis. As a husband, I never dreamed that I would have to worry about monitoring my wife’s immature use of any comfort that our family has been so fortunate to have at this time in our lives but she is immaturely putting our family at risk and amazingly - she just doesn’t even get it. She installs software such as K9 Watch Dog on our son’s computer but it appears that she should have been concerned about her inability to control her own Internet usage.

On many occasions, my wife has explained to me about how grateful and thankful she is that the LDS church saved her from her immoral past. I don’t think that she realizes that the church did that by enforcing controls that the church expects its members to live by. Any church has controls and expects its leaders to abide by and to enforce those controls on its members. After all, that is the whole idea behind commandments. Yet, when I try to get her to abide by the simple controls that would be expected in any “normal” family, then I become the bad guy, the guy that she describes to her Internet boyfriends as her nemesis. On many occasions she has called me controlling. I’m sure that one day, CArmstrong909 won’t have the controls that are enforced by her church or the controls that come with being a member of a family and when that day comes, I hope that my children and I are not around her since she unknowingly and immaturely invites danger into her life.

There are thousands of “singles” Internet websites out there and my wife can always go to one of them or even sign up while using another user ID on this site. So, in order to prevent her from neglecting our children and slandering me behind my back while “chatting” online and cheating in our own home, I decided to disconnect our Internet service. It probably would have come down to that anyway as a result of the divorce. I have no idea what my wife’s intentions are. For all I know, she is merely playing a dangerous game with her church and with the emotions of everyone involved, including you, her mother and her own children. In my opinion, not only is my wife immature but she is extremely naïve and only sees things her way. In her mind, as long as it benefits CArmstrong909 then it is okay and doesn’t matter if it breaks any religious or judicious laws.

I would like to request that the moderator of this website either remove or suspend the account of CA909 and/or CArmstrong909 until our divorce is final. I would also like to request of you, as a decent human being, that you try to understand that my family is real and what we are going through at this time is real and the risks that are associated with “role playing” are not worth destroying a family. I’ve been divorced before, in fact, my wife and I have both been divorced before. (Actually, I’m not sure if she ever divorced her first husband since they were married in the Philippines and she can provide no evidence of their divorce.) I’m sure that we can handle our divorce in the long run but this will be a first for our young and sometimes emotional children.

After years of being terrorized by their mother with the threat getting divorced from their dad because they won’t obey her commands, I believe that even they have become callus towards her threats. In the past, she has threatened them with divorce for not wanting to go to church with her. During a more recent temper tantrum, which was observed by our children as well as by their friends, she looked at our son during her rage and said, “I’m divorcing your dad because he doesn’t like Mormons”.

I find the statement to my son to be so wrong and in so many ways:

First, the statement itself is not true. I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah with Mormons and have many Mormon friends. My oldest daughter from a previous marriage is married to a Mormon. They were married in the Temple shortly after his return from a Mormon mission. If I didn’t like Mormons, then I would have taught my daughter to not like Mormons but that wasn’t how I was raised and that’s not how I raise my children. If that were the case, then neither us would be married to a Mormon. In my opinion, what my wife interprets as my dislike for Mormons is actually my dislike for the way that she treats her family when it comes to her interpretation of the Mormon belief. I have watched her ignore her own children as the children and I entered the house while she was feeding the local Mormon missionaries. During that incident, the kids and I didn’t receive an offer to join them to eat food that I had provided or even a hello from her as we walked by. I have watched her neglect her own children in order to pursue sexually oriented conversations with her Mormon Internet boyfriends. I watched her own mother come to tears because my wife did not defend her when Mormon Church members at my wife’s Ward referred to my wife’s mother as a traitor for going back to her Catholic belief. I have read messages from my wife to her Internet boyfriends as she describes feeding fruit to her LDS sisters because of their weight and then laughing about it.

Second, our son was not involved in the conversation and did not ask a question such as, “Why are you divorcing my dad?” And, to be honest, at this point, I don’t believe that he even cares why. Rightfully so, all that he cares about is how a divorce might effect his world. Like the others at the table, he was merely observing as his Temple recommend mother threw one of her many temper tantrums.

Third, I believe that it is wrong for her to tell our son in such factual terms what “I” like or what “I” don’t like – especially on the subject of divorce and especially to our children. How does she know what “I” believe, or who “I” like or who “I” don’t like?

Fourth, why present a child with such a statement? Even if it were true, what was she expecting him to do about it? Was she expecting him to plead with me to change my supposed dislike for Mormons so that she wouldn’t go through with the divorce? Who knows? What I do know is that it was yet another of her many threats of divorce being shamefully focused on our children. I honestly don’t believe that she can even help making these threats. It has become a natural part of her way of ending a heated conversation. It has become a part of her being. It is who she is. It probably always was and probably always will be and I have tried to explain that to our children. I have also tried to explain it to her but to no avail.

Fifth, if I didn’t like Mormons, it would not be my preference that our four year old daughter attends a daycare that is provided by a Mormon family. It is my preference because I know that the environment there is safe and that there are controls there that will be enforced. On the other hand, my wife would prefer that our daughter be cared for by her Filipina friend whose children have taught our daughter the ‘F’ word and how to flip the bird. A friend that has left our children with neighbors of hers that we don’t know and have never met.

Sixth, it was my wife’s belief in the Mormon Church that initially attracted me to her. I envisioned an entirely different person than what she is when she told me that she was a teacher in the Philippines and loved children. Unfortunately, I was under the impression that she understood what it meant to be Mormon and how to carry herself when representing the Mormon faith. My wife may have served on a Mormon mission but the mission that she serves now is a mission of child neglect and the mission of obtaining selfish items of material value not to mention her mission of chasing young white Mormon men.

During the 2008 school year’s initial Parent/Teacher conference, I asked my son what he would like for his new teacher to know about him and his reply was that his parents are getting divorced. I was speechless. My ten year old son is not sure what divorce is but he knows that it breaks up families. Both of my young children will be going through a lot and I don’t’ think it would be appropriate for either of them to be introduced to males that their mother is “seeing” while still being married to and living with them and their daddy. I really don’t want to have to explain something like that to them, especially at their young ages. As is, there innocence has been lost and this is not a healthy environment for them. So be considerate and keep in mind that they have access to my wife’s laptop and her cell phone, which my son believes is his since it was given to him as a backup and my wife uses it since I will no longer provide her with a cell phone at my expense.

If her conversations were about her family or about her children or even about her faith then I might understand the amount of time that my wife spends away from her children while “chatting” online or while buying “things” on eBay. But some of the instant messages and emails that I’ve seen come into our home from these LDS/Mormon “single” men are certainly not for the eyes of a 10 year old little LDS saint that thinks the world of his mother. In fact, I would consider them to be pornographic and could have an ever lasting impact on his view of his mother as well as his view of the Mormon Church. Quite often my son will ask his mother to read the Book of Mormon to him while he goes to sleep at night.

I don’t know you and have no reason to lie to you. My intent is not to be mean spirited towards you or even towards my wife. My wife and I have our problems but those issues will either be resolved or will dissipate over time. I am not a member of the Mormon Church, but I am led to believe that you are since you are visiting this website. As a member, I would like to ask for your consideration of our situation - as it truly is and not as it has been presented to you by my wife in her Mormon Singles profile or during her possible conversations with you.

One night, I went to check on my son and to turn off the light in his room since I believed that he was asleep. Instead of being asleep, I found him crying in his bed. When I asked what was wrong, he replied, “Dad, I just want a normal family.” Seeing my son cry over our family situation brought tears to my own eyes. In his 10 years, he had never seen me cry and I had to explain to him that the only time that would ever happen is when I see that my children are in pain. Then he asked me where his mother was and I had no idea since she often leaves without telling anyone where she is going or when we should expect her to return. I believe that he was having a hard time going to sleep and wanted his mother to read the Book of Mormon to him. I asked him if he wanted me to try and call her on her cell phone and to my surprise he replied that he had already tried that, which I believe was another point of frustration for him.

While he was still crying, I asked him to go with me downstairs to his grandmother’s room to see if she could locate his mother or at least tell us where she was or maybe when she might return. I explained the situation to his grandmother and she was also unsuccessful in locating her daughter and didn’t know where she was or when she would return.

When my wife did finally come home I explained the situation to her and to my surprise she began to laugh. I couldn’t believe it and mentioned to her that, here I was trying to tell her that her child was is pain and all that she could do was smile and laugh. I didn’t see anything remotely funny about the situation. Being frustrated with the whole incident, and especially with not being able to get through to her - again, I decided to ask her LDS home teacher to intervene. Since her home teacher is thoroughly aware of my wife’s Internet and telephone activities, I figured that he would understand and might even be able to instill some compassion in my wife. I described to him what my son had told me that night and to my surprise the home teacher said that he knew my son and didn’t believe that my son would ever say something like that. Needless to say, I was appalled and it was at that point in time that I lost all respect for her home teacher who is an elderly gentleman that I had pegged as possibly having a problem with my racial background. Basically, he had just called me a liar and pushed aside any real concern for my son’s emotions. I realized then that he had no idea who my wife was and didn’t really know my son or my *Email Blocked* more importantly, I realized that through our casual conversations, I had not gotten to know this elderly gentleman and did not know who he really was either and my pre-judgment of him was a lot more kinder to him than his pre-judgment of me. Through our interactions over these incidents with my wife, I came to know portions of his character that I did not want around my family. In my opinion, he suddenly represented those Mormons that I grew up with in the 70’s that believed that blacks were a lower class of citizens and even though they could vote and die for their country they could not hold priesthoods in the Mormon Church. As a result, I told my son that I didn’t want him around that home teacher and also mentioned to the home teacher that I thought that it would be best if didn’t come to our home to do his “teaching”.

One Sunday, my 4 year old daughter decided that she didn’t’ want to go with her mother to church but then, about an hour later, changed her mind. She quietly went upstairs to her room and simply started to change into her Sunday clothes. When I asked what she was doing, she replied, “I’m changing clothes so that I can go to church!” I couldn’t help but smile. We hadn’t talked about it and I wondered how she thought that she was going to get there. When I asked, she let me know that I would be taking her! Once again, I couldn’t help but smile. She is so cute. Once we got to the church, we found the classroom where my son was located. My wife was not in that particular class but one of the classroom teachers met us at the door and escorted my daughter into the room and located a seat for her. As I was leaving, I waved at my son from the doorway and let him know that his sister was now there as well. On the way out, I ran into my wife’s home teacher and we joked as I explained to him that when my daughter gets something in her mind that she wants to do, she does it.

Days later, after being frustrated with the whole ‘divorce’ situation, it was during one of our many conversations on the subject of my wife’s Internet and telephone “activities” that my wife’s home teacher, who once told me that the church doesn’t get involved in divorces, let me know that he would be there in the court by wife’s side in order to let the court know that I had once left my *Email Blocked* conclusion that I was led to was that I can’t trust the members of that Ward to care for and watch out for my children in my absence even when their mother is in attendance. As explained to my mother-in-law, during any conversation that I have with my wife’s home teacher, I always get the impression that I am being pre-judged by him. He is an elderly person and an ex-policeman. I can’t help but wonder if his obvious pre-judgment of me has to do with his dealings in law enforcement, his up bringing, the color of my skin or all of the above. This is the same individual that suggested that I should leave my family. With today’s divorce rates more than fifty percent, I see that as one of the biggest problems with families today and especially with black families. I never thought that I would ever here a Mormon say such a thing. His actual use of the ‘N’ word in our conversations concerning these incidents with my wife came with such ease that it was chilling. Later I decided to share with him the autobiography of Dick Gregory. During one of our last conversations, I asked that his “home teaching” be done outside of our home. One day at church, he informed my wife that he had read the book in a couple of days. I would like to believe that his message was more for her than for me since he has my contact information and decided to send the message through her. He knows that I provided a copy to my wife and her mother as well. As of yet, my wife hasn’t even opened it to the first page and I don’t believe that she ever will unless instructed to do so by the church.

Shortly after these incidents, I told my son that I would no longer insist that he go to church with his mother. He understands that he can go if he wants to but it would be without my insistence. I express that point with him every Sunday. Needless to say, I don’t look forward to Sundays because my wife has told him that he doesn’t have a choice. I believe that it is important that my son know that no one will force him go to church and no one will force him stay away from church. If he wants to go then he should go. I know my son and I am of the opinion that he understands that in reality he does have a choice. In the Mormon Church, at the age of eight, the males are allowed to “decide” if they want to be baptized or not. But apparently at the age ten, you are not allowed to “decide” if you want to attend church or not because every Sunday my wife chastises and criticizes him for not wanting to attend. Her most recent tactic includes bribes of money and promises of material things that she has yet to follow through with. Needless to say, he doesn’t go. Today (05/17/09), while playing with a friend, who is also LDS and who had spent the night, my wife tried to bribe our son with $100.00, but he said no. I’m not sure what she had in mind for the friend since he quickly expressed that he only attends church with his parents and was looking forward to spending the remainder of the day playing with our son. While standing between my son and my wife, I took the $100 bill from her and gave it to my son and then explained to her that if you’re going to give him the money then just do it – don’t bribe him, especially about church. I explained that I don’t think that is a good thing to do and that it teaches the wrong lesson. At that point, she began to get physical with me in front of the three kids since our daughter was watching as well. Even though our son had the money, she kept yelling at me, “Give me my money back!” “Give me my money back!” My son got scared and asked his mother to stop fighting and yelling and to just take the money back. Eventually she did and as she was leaving she kept taunting him with bribes and increasing the amount until she reached $200.00. He stayed and played with his friend while she left and went to church. Now, here’s an individual that would chastise anyone for making purchases on Sunday, LDS or not, yet somehow she rationalized an attempt to buy her own son.

Today (i.e., 07/19/09), our son mentioned that he “has” to go to church. As before, I told him that he doesn’t “have” to go if he doesn’t “want” to go and I asked him why he felt that he “had” to. In his response he mentioned that he made a promise to his mother that he would go under the condition that she would go swimming with him. I mentioned to him that if he made a promise then he should stick to it and not let his character be jeopardized. I mentioned to him that I wanted him to be a person of his word, i.e., someone that people can trust and that I expected him to do the right thing. He really took a long time deciding whether he wanted to keep his promise or not but eventually he decided to go to church. I was proud that he made the right decision – not because of church but because of his character.

While he was at church, I thought a lot about what he had said and the promise that he had made to his mother. I found two things that were disturbing to me and I shared those with him when he returned. First, no matter the religion, I don’t believe that it is appropriate to barter with church being the exchange. I explained that it is what his mother had done to him and he seemed to be learning the wrong lessons about church. Second, I found it odd that he had to bribe his mother into spending time with him doing something that he really wanted her to do. I asked him to really think about it in the future and if his mother (or anyone else for that matter) doesn’t want to spend time with him then be mature enough to just let it go before making a promise that he really did not want to follow through with.

It is because of incidents like these that I have determined that these particular members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are not helping my wife and certainly not helping my family. Quite often, I ask myself, why are these members so different from the members that I grew up with in Salt Lake City? Even though they would exclude a class of individuals and even their own members from certain practices within the church, the Mormons in Salt Lake City had a kind and gentle nature about them and they appeared to be genuinely concerned about how church members treated their fellowman. I don’t get that impression from this Ward of LDS members.

At one point (i.e., 12/05/08), I came home to find my daughter crying. When asked what happened, my wife explained that my son and daughter had been wrestling and my daughter was hurt during their scuffle. To find out if that was true, I asked my son and he indicated that it was true but it was an accident. He also indicated that my wife had drawn back her arm at him and that he was still afraid that she was going to hit him.

With one kid crying and the other frightened to the point of being visibly shaken, I decided that it would be best if they went with me for a ride to get gas so that everyone could take some time to cool down. Upon hearing that we were leaving, my wife went into one of her tantrums and indicated that the food that she had been preparing was now ready and that she was going to throw it away and never cook again. Sadly, the children overheard this but they still wanted to leave.

As we were leaving, my son asked if we could take the steak with us to eat while riding in the car. Upon hearing that, my wife abruptly replied that she had thrown the steak away. My son was obviously sad and his response was that he really looked forward to eating that steak. During the ride to the gas station he asked if we could go somewhere to eat steak.

The sad thing about the whole incident is that their LDS, Temple Recommend, Mormon mother angrily tossed their dinner into the garbage can right in front of them and I couldn’t explain to them why. Even if my wife were mad at me or at the situation as a whole, I see no reason why a loving mother would ever put her own children through that sort of mental anguish. On one hand, my wife invites supposed LDS or Mormon male strangers over for dinner via the Internet, feeds the Mormon missionaries without inviting her children to join and then on the other hand, right in front of their eyes, she throws away the dinner that she had just prepared for them. What impact will this have on them later in their lives?

I can only imagine how my wife’s siblings in the Philippines would feel, knowing that their sister is here in the USA throwing away food that she had prepared for her own children while they are there in the Philippines literally begging and pleading with us for financial assistance and to help them put food on their tables.

Maybe it’s because she was raised in a third-world country, but my wife puts value on almost any material item, especially items that I would consider waste. She will routinely go through our garbage to see what she can retrieve and save for no apparent reason other than, in her mind, it has some value and when she finds something in the garbage that I’ve discarded she gets thoroughly upset. Once she found some pencils in the garbage and based on the way that she ranted and raved you would have thought the world was coming to an end. Her mother told me that a similar incident had occurred between the two of them during the first week of her arrival here in the United States. Apparently my wife’s mother was cleaning up and had thrown away something of my wife’s. When telling me the story, my mother-in-law said that she was so upset that she wanted to return to the Philippines that very day even though she had only been here for a short period of time. Recently (06/06/09), in preparation for a pool party for our son, I ended up throwing away all of the items in the refrigerator that was either spoiled or molded. Apparently, some fish dish that my wife wanted was among the spoiled items and when she made that little discovery, once again she brought up divorce with our son as if there were something that he could do about the fish or the divorce. Personally, I see that as a form of child abuse and when I asked her not to threaten him with divorce she replied that she didn’t know what I talking about. Can you believe that? I find that amazingly sad. Here is a woman that will throw away food that she has prepared for her own children but when her fish dish gets mixed in the other “science projects” found in the refrigerator then it’s time to threaten the kids with divorcing their dad. Unbelievable!

Yesterday, (05/02/09), the kids and I were shopping for a quick meal at the local grocery store and ran into their mother, who once again had left the house without letting them know that she was leaving or where she was going. When they saw her, you would have thought that they hadn’t seen her in months. Their love for her is so obvious and is one of the reasons that I insist that my son not take sides during our arguments and that he treat her with respect regardless of our circumstances. She said that she was shopping for a festival that the church was having. Since the kids and I were done shopping, we left the store at the same time as their mother and on the way to the checkout stand my son asked his mother for some cookies. She said that he could have them and he put them in her hand cart along with some other items that she was buying.

As we got to the checkout stand, for some reason she decided that he was not getting the cookies and laughingly informed the cashier that I would be paying for the items in her cart as well. I didn’t see anything humorous and don’t believe that my son would have either. On the way to the cars, my son asked for the cookies and she informed him that she had put them back. I believe that she felt bad because she eventually went back into the store and bought the cookies that she had said that he could have. Later, I explained to my son that the purchase of the cookies was an agreement that he had made with his mother since upon entering the store, our agreement was that we were not buying cookies since we had just bought his favorite cookies days earlier and those were still at home.

The sad thing is that I don’t believe that my wife will ever have any perception of this incident other than her own perception. If I were to try and point out a different perception to her then it would be interpreted as an invitation to an argument. For once, I would like for her to see an incident such as this from our son’s eyes or maybe even from my eyes.

During another meal, my wife told our son that he would be banned from the Philippines for sharing his honest opinion as expressed by a 10 year old about a dish that she had prepared. He said that it looked like maggots on noodles. I assured him that he wouldn’t be banned from a country for not liking a dish that his mother fixed or for expressing his opinion about the way that it looked to him. Her justification for saying this had something to do with Eric Estrada and until now, I still don’t see the connection or what that has to do with our children.

Instead of taking 5 minutes to teach her young black son the historical relevance of Barack Obama and what he has been able to achieve by possibly becoming the first African-American President of the United States of America, my wife chooses to spend hours on the Internet defending Mitt Romney – as she puts it in one of her many blogs – “her idol”. And, instead of teaching her young son about the importance of saving money and doing his chores around the house, she secretly donates money to Mitt Romney’s campaign while expecting her mother to fulfill each of my wife’s motherly responsibilities and while expecting me to fulfill each of her financial responsibilities. I can’t begin to imagine how much money my wife donated to Mitt’s campaign.

I hurried home one night with the desire to watch the historical election with my young son only to find that his mother had sent him to bed early and without explanation. I wonder if she would have sent him to bed if Mitt had not dropped out.

Lately (04-03-09), her threats towards the children are not about getting divorced. Instead, they are threats of moving them out of their home. Today, she bought an exercise machine and had a friend of hers deliver it to our house. He left it in our backyard and I assume that she was either not home or they couldn’t get it into the house. When I got home, I mentioned that I would help her but I had to do something upstairs with the children first. After a short while, she began to yell and say that it was going to rain – which it obviously was not. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. She got more or more agitated and eventually worked herself into frenzy. I mentioned to her that if the exercise machine was going to cause that much of a problem then maybe she should take it back to the store or give it back to whom ever she got it from. With that she began to get physical with me and saying that I was acting crazy. I told her that if she was going to call me names then I would have no desire to help her get the thing into the house and then I went back inside to help the kids select an award that I had recently received from my employer but had promised to them. After going upstairs and unsuccessfully getting my clothes out of our closet, my wife told the children that she was leaving and that they should pack some clothes because she was taking them with her. When my son asked where they were going she said that she didn’t know but probably to a homeless shelter somewhere. I think the fear of uncertainly scared him more than the fear of leaving his home. Once again, she had terrorized her own child and I don’t think she even gave it a second thought. I asked her to stop and look at what she is doing and to, once again, stop terrorizing our children. I told her that if she would apologize then I would once again try to assist her with getting the elliptical machine into the house. After yelling an apology to me, she eventually settled down and my son stopped crying and he and I moved the machine into the house and then into our downstairs guest bedroom. It was after this incident that my wife began to sleep in the guest room. She spends more time exercising and going to the YMCA than she does with her own children, yet she considers herself a “good” Mormon.

After my son and I got the elliptical machine into the bedroom he told me that everyone at his school is hoping that his parents don’t get a divorce. I couldn’t help but wonder how “everyone” at his school would even know. I also couldn’t help but wonder about the amount of pressure that this situation puts on him at the tender age of 10.

One fear that I have is that my wife is teaching our four year daughter the wrong lessons with her reaction to these types of incidents. In essence, my wife is teaching our daughter that if you don’t get your way then you should pack your bags and run away from home. My wife has several bags packed in our house and she basically lives out of her suite cases. She lives her life as if she should be ready to leave at a moments notice and I have observed her mother do the same and wonder if this is a gypsy like behavior that she learned from her. I recall asking my wife about it years ago and she indicated that the Mormon Church had taught her that and they were to be used in case of an emergency. During the incident with the exercise machine, she found an old small suitcase and after dusting it off, she proudly presented it to our daughter who excitingly began to take her clothes out of her dresser drawer and pack them in the suitcase.

After all that, I fail to see what the sense of urgency was in getting the elliptical machine into the house since she didn’t even use if that night or the next day or the next week for that matter. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why it is that she wants so badly for this family to fail. She’s a 45 year old Mormon convert that appears to value her worldly possessions and her dream world a lot more than her family. At what point do those religious beliefs that she supposedly have concerning family kick in? I thought that the whole idea behind family home evening was to spend time with your family. For my wife, it’s just another day on the elliptical machine so that she can try to physically look good for her next ex-husband.


My Interests and Hobbies:

In the footer of my wife’s emails, she includes this passage from the Bible, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 1:4. My wife and I don’t see eye-to-eye on many issues from our past, such as religion and politics but most have to deal with her love of money and for some strange reason, an obsession of hers with my ex-wife with whom I have no contact or communication with but interestingly, they share a lot of the same immoral traits. But nothing that I’ve presented here is a lie and, oddly enough, I believe that if she were confronted with anything in this message, my wife would reluctantly agree that it is all true.

During our arguments, my wife always brings up my previous two marriages. At what point will she quit worrying about my past and begin to worry about her children’s future. She is so focused on my marital history that she forgets that she has one of her own. She forgets that, not only was she married before but she had a relationship that resulted in an out-of-wedlock pregnancy. By my wife’s logic, since I was married twice before her then I shouldn’t get married again after our eventual divorce. In her mind, the fact that I’ve been married before means that I’m a bad person. She forgets that it works both ways and when I asked her about it she says that she has prayed for it and has received forgiveness. I couldn’t help but wonder how she knew that she had received forgiveness and what made her think that I hadn’t received forgiveness. Once again, in her mind anything dealing with her can be justified but when it comes to others then there is no justification.

I will say this, if I do decide to get married again, that is my decision – not hers. And, it may very well be to someone that believes in the Mormon faith. Unlike what my wife has become, I would not exclude someone because of their religious beliefs. After all, the LDS faith is the predominant faith of the city where I grew up. However, it won’t be to someone that cannot commit to their family and it definitely won’t be to someone whose social life is centered around individuals that spend most of their day in their dream world “role playing” and “relieving themselves” while being on the Internet with people that they don’t know or have never met. I would only ask of them that they be committed and loyal to their family – first and foremost, regardless of religious or political convictions.

In the Philippines they have what is known as a “common-law-wife” since divorces are not allowed. When put in its best light, that is what she was when she became pregnant there by her boyfriend. So, regardless of paperwork, this is her third marriage as well. She also doesn’t know the other side of my marriages. She only knows what I’ve shared with her.

My first wife got married twice after our divorce, had another child and she is now happily divorced again. My second wife also got married twice after our divorce, had another child and, as far as I know, she is now happily married. It happens. I don’t understand what my wife’s obsession is with my marital history. She should focus on her own past, i.e., the past that she knows much better than what I have shared with her about mine. Instead of concentrating on how my past affects her behavior, she should try to determine how her own past affects her behavior or better yet how the content of her character affects her behavior.

As mentioned, you are being deceived in that you are not being told the whole truth. If that is the type of person that you wish to pursue having any type of relationship with, either long term or short term, then you’ve definitely found it and I have to say, more power to you. Unlike me, at least you now know what you are getting yourself into. In my opinion, you’ll need a lot of patience, a lot of tolerance and a whole lot of money. I can assure you that her interest in you is not your religion but instead is purely your credit rating and her insatiable desire to own half of what someone has.

It is obvious to me now that my wife needs help. She needs professional help in learning how to deal with the many “issues” that she is facing in her life right now and will face in the near future. In my opinion, her biggest issue is the fact that she is unable to accept responsibility for her own actions. The one thing that you will never hear her say is, “I accept full responsibility for my actions. It was my fault.” Instead she has a terrible habit of blaming someone else. Currently, that someone else is most often either me or her mother. No matter what the situation, the blame is always deflected and responsibility is never accepted. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve heard my wife say something like, “That’s because my husband…” or “That’s because my mother…” or “That’s because my children…” My wife is self-centered and in her mind she does nothing wrong and any faults that she might have or might display can be either justified or forgiven through religious repentance.

Recently, (i.e., 08-24-09), my wife proudly presented me with a news paper article that she had written celebrating our daughters birthday. Although it was flattering, as I got to the end of the article I realized that it was to our daughter but from her and our son, i.e., she had intentionally left my name out. If there is anything that any one knows about our daughter, it would be that she loves her family – her whole family. She’s five years old and doesn’t make distinctions about who is a member and who is not or when they are a member and when they are not. Not only was I surprised to see that my wife had left my name out but I was surprised at the insensitivity that she has when it comes to her own children. I don’t think that she really knows their character. Our daughter will some day read the article and ask the obvious question that I asked my wife and her response was that she had written the article a while back. That was as if to say, “Since I did it when I was mad at you then its okay.” I let her know of my disgust with her and gave the article back.

The very next day, when I called to see how the kids were doing, she began to rant and rave in her infamous temper tantrum manner. She wanted to know where I had put the article and she asked our son to ask me. I definitely did not want him to get in the middle of an argument but I explained to him that I didn’t have it and as he told her, I could hear her in the background yelling and screaming and calling me a liar. Now, here is a person that is an outright liar to members of these web sites and will even lie about members of her church and yet she was calling me a liar to our kids and our kids had nothing to do the situation. This went on for several minutes as she worked herself into more and more of a frenzy. It built up to the point of actually taking the phone from our son and hanging it up while he and I were still talking. Just before hanging up the phone, I could hear her say, “I don’t want you talking to a liar. You’re dad is a liar.” I immediately called back and my son answered the phone. I explained to him to keep in mind the reason for him having a cell phone and if he felt that he needed to call 911 then to do so from the home phone first.

The next day, my wife called and said that she found the article in the backpack that she had put it in and offered an apology. She also mentioned that she had apologized to the children for calling me a liar. Later that week, I asked my son if she ever apologized to him for taking the phone from him and hanging it up and he said no. I find it so ironic that my wife files for a divorce from me and apologizes for her rude behavior yet she offers no apology to the children from which she cannot divorce and shows very little respect. They may have an innate love for her but they have little or no respect for her and it is easy to see why. Her relationship with them is the same as her relationship with anyone else.

Now that she has filed for a divorce, I believe that I am finally being relieved of being in the “fall guy” position in her life. I can only feel sorry for her mother who, after getting hurt by my wife time and time again, continues to come to her side and she does so because it is her daughter. I also believe that I am finally being relieved of the responsibility of providing assistance to my wife with learning right from wrong in our society and accepting responsibility for her own actions. So, instead of paying for that type of help for her, I’m at the point of willingness to expedite the divorce and let someone else take on her and her many issues.

However, if you decide to have any type of relationship with my wife, I would like to request that you pursue that relationship after our divorce. I definitely would not want it to come to this but, when you think about it, it is entirely within the realm of possibilities that you and the conversations that you have with my wife could be summoned as part of her lawsuit against me and my counter-lawsuit against her. It has become obvious to me that there is no privacy or amenity when it comes to the Internet or secret cell phone conversations. In today’s information age, it’s easy to determine what a person is doing on the Internet and who that person is as well as who they are doing it with. Like it or not, Big Brother “IS” watching. Like it or not, we live in an age where you are defined by what people find when they “Google” your name or your Internet IDs. I believe that what my wife is doing is dangerous, immature and simply stated - WRONG. And, I believe that most members of these LDS and Mormon “singles” websites, the LDS Church and society as whole would agree that it is also immoral, regardless of the period of our human history.

I can’t believe that any moral church would condone such behavior. How an individual that admittedly displays these traits in a public forum could receive a Temple Recommend from the Mormon Church is beyond me. In my personal opinion, it devalues the achievement and the character of those that have honestly reached that religious goal in their life. If a society of people knows of a crime and that crime goes unpunished then I can see how it would be interpreted by the criminal as being an acceptable behavior. The officials of my wife’s Ward know of her immoral behaviors because I have sat with her Bishop and basically begged him for their assistance. I have not heard from him since our initial meeting and he has not responded to my email requesting that he contact me. In my opinion, their reaction and failure to take action is shameful.

Imagine if all the individuals with Temple Recommends acted in the manner that my wife does. If this type of behavior is acceptable on the Internet then why not let her have these nasty “sexy” conversations with the single males in the local Ward? Why not let her participate in the Single’s *Email Blocked*? Because what she is doing is wrong. Even though she is not embarrassed or ashamed, she knows that is wrong and the church knows it. In this particular case, she is not the only one hiding behind closed doors. But since the Internet is intangible, i.e., because, “it’s just Internet chatting” or role playing as she puts it, there is a tendency for some of her church members (and even her mother - initially) to pretend that it is okay. They would pretend that it was just a phase that she is going through and it should be forgotten and she should be forgiven. During our conversations or heated discussions, my wife always brings us back to the broken toy train that I gave to the Mormon goodwill. If anything, that should be forgotten because the incident brought out the worst in her and she continues to relive that moment over and over again.

I can only imagine how any society would view these actions if they were those of a Black man with two young children and a devoted *Email Blocked* the temper tantrum that my wife admits to her Internet “boyfriend” that she has, I can only imagine how physically explosive her response would have been if it were me having those nasty Internet exchanges with female strangers or especially with the ex-wife that she supposedly dislikes so much, yet acts like so well.

My wife includes the words at the bottom of her email but she has yet to learn to tell the truth or “walk the truth”. I know that the LDS religion is one that changes with the times but has it changed that much since my growing up in Salt Lake City, Utah? Did I miss a revelation somewhere? Some of her conversations are as pornographic as any X-rated material that would have been condemned by the Mormon Church back in those days. I’m thoroughly surprised that the Church continues to let her be a member and even a member in good standing, i.e., a member with a Temple Recommend, knowing that she continues to have these disgusting conversations with other supposed “LDS” single men and makes plans to meet them – alone for one night stands.

I recently (i.e., August of 2008) found out that she is now on the Internet seeking to meet other LDS/Mormon members that are outside of her Ward. I can’t help but wonder why? How can any member of the Church have these types of conversations in a public forum (and with complete strangers) and still call themselves a “good” Mormon? After reading one of her nasty conversations, I think that her mother put it best when she said that at least a prostitute gets paid for it.

In light of the racial slurs that she has used towards me (which includes the race of her own two children), and in light of her comment to a website member about Filipina’s wanting a tall American Mormon, and in light of her response as to why she recently filed for a divorce, it would appear that CA909 / CArmstrong909/ShadowUS/Gemini92373/CA92373 is searching for a tall, White, American Mormon so that she can get married in the LDS Temple and be dead happily ever after. Oddly enough, the individual that she seeks sounds a lot like the husband before me. I think I see now why he abandoned her. He knew more about her than I did when I agreed to marry her. Not only is she ruining her life here on Earth but she appears to be ruining any LDS afterlife that there might be.

I know who I am and I am proud of my ethnic background. I have never tried to be anything other than the race that I am and have tried to represent my race to the best of my abilities, even in the midst of living amongst a large population of Mormons and being a minority in many different ways during my formative years. But my wife has become a racist and I liken my relationship with her now to being married to and having children by a member of the KKK. She did not appear to be a bigot when we met and she did not represent herself in that manner at any time during our brief engagement. I would have to believe that this is something that she has been taught. Knowing her now, I see that my wife is the type of individual that doesn’t have an opinion on social events and behavior of her own until it is given to her by an authority such as her church or until she develops her interpretation of what is being taught by the church.

At one point in time, the Book of Mormon encouraged members of the LDS faith to become “whitesome and delightsome”. I can’t help but think that this church or this religion or this faith, although it is good for most of its members, has not been good for my wife and has certainly not been good for our family. Here’s a person that really doesn’t like who she is and is striving to be something that she will never be and I’m not talking about being Mormon. She believes that her DNA is keeping her from being what she wants to be but like the president of her relief society told me, it’s not her DNA, instead it’s the choices that she makes. Unlike my wife, I want my children to be proud of who they are and their ethnic heritages. Even though they would be considered minorities in their own country, I don’t want my children to be envious of other races. I also don’t want them to learn the behaviors or display the characteristics of a racist like their mother.

After 13 years of marriage, she has begun to use racial slurs and has begun to bash other groups such as Gays and Muslims. She displays feelings of hatred when it comes to the Catholic Church, which oddly enough is the church of her original faith and the faith of her mother who says that my wife has changed since coming to the USA and when her mother says that, she doesn’t mean that her daughter has changed for the better. Her own mother has even referred to her as being and acting crazy.

My wife is the great pretender. Deep down, she is a Catholic that is merely pretending to be LDS. She is a Filipino that pretends to fit into American LDS social society. She is or has become a racist pretending to honor the race or ethnic background of others.

It’s scary in that my wife has no idea what it is like or what it means to be Black in America, yet she is the biological mother of two young children that our society would consider as being Black. I had often wondered how I would explain to our children, who are of a mixed race, how they should respond if someone ever called them a bad name such as the ‘N’ word. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I believe that the first time that they would hear the actual word would be in their own home and coming from the mouth of their own mother. And, she used this word over something that was so materialistically petty. It is still unbelievable to me that after almost 14 years of marriage, she used that word towards me in front of our kids and their friends because I donated a broken train that our son used to ride when he was three years old. The irony of it all is that the toy was donated to the Deseret Industries (or LDS/Mormon Goodwill, for those of you that are not Mormon). In this case, her justification was that she wanted it because ‘she’ bought it. The broken piece of junk had been in our attic for four years and she hadn’t given it a second thought until she went up there for something else and noticed it. How materialistic is that? Here’s a person that would have a hard time giving up her worldly possessions to follow a religious belief as some have done and as some still do today.

She still points to that incident as the turning point in our relationship. Honestly, I believe that it was long before that. She is definitely handicapped when it comes to being able to reason or to selflessly think through a process and determine how the outcome of her actions or even the use of her words might affect others.

Prior to that incident, I had never heard my wife use the ‘N’ word in any context. Needless to say, I was thoroughly surprised and utterly disgusted. It was at that very moment that I began to see my wife in an entirely different light. Even now, I don’t believe that she understands that she did not insult me, as she thought that she did or as she had intended, but instead she insulted my entire family and an entire group of people which includes her own children. She insulted an entire race of people with the use of one despicable word. In fact, she even insulted the natives of her homeland. There is a reason why the natives of the Philippines are referred to as “Negritos”. Amazingly, once again, she doesn’t get it. Other than being a word that is used in a negative manner towards those of us in the world with darker skin, I can’t help but wonder what it is that she believes the word means or even what it was that she thought she was saying or calling me. Here again, I ask the question, what is she being taught? I don’t know what it is that her church is teaching her with regards to race awareness but I do believe that she is learning the wrong lessons, especially when you consider her immediate cultural environment, her own mixed family and her own heritage. CA909 or CArmstrong909 does not define who I am. Instead, through the use of such words and through her own actions it helps others gain an understanding of who she “really” is and her friends and family know that and I believe that they see her now in a similar light that I do.

Prior to sending for my wife, I asked her why she wanted to marry me, a poor Black man from the United States of America. I also asked if she felt that she could handle the racism that Blacks sometime receive in the U.S. She indicated that she had been married to a White man before and didn’t want that anymore. Her first husband was from Canada. She also indicated that she could deal with the problems that would be associated with a mixed marriage.

Our relationship was never a relationship that was built on romance or even friendship since we didn’t know each other that long before she was granted a Fiancé Visa to come to the United States. However, I was under the impression that our relationship was built on honesty and trust. As mentioned earlier, it began very much like yours but through postal correspondence instead of electronic correspondence since there was no such thing as the Internet back then, let alone Instant Messaging.

If you are her latest knight in shinning white armor then you must know that you will not agree with my wife 100% of the time. She admittedly is very temperamental and displays her anger by slamming doors, throwing things and becoming physically violent with members of her family. At some point during your relationship, you will disagree with her and I assure you that the disagreements will become the basis for the next disagreement and they will be used against you in all future disagreements, time and time again – much like the train incident that I hear about with each argument and with each threat of divorce. In our divorce papers, my wife cites incidents that happened twelve to thirteen years ago! I don’t even recall most of the incidents and if they were so damaging to her, which is the underlying basis of her claim, then why cite them now, this many years later? Instead of being concerned about the health, welfare, education and safety of her children, she’s more concerned that I won’t assist her with getting an elliptical machine into our house so that she can stare at if for a week. It amazes me even today that she was so concerned about a material item that she was willing to threaten me and her children with taking them to a shelter. Trust me, any bad history that you have together will never be forgotten. In fact, any bad history in your relationship that is in her mind, whether factual or fiction, will never -- be -- forgotten.

I noticed that my wife’s filing for a divorce came without her typical “monthly” threat. I found that so surprising that I asked her about it and made sure to do so in front of her mother since I wanted her mother to hear the response with her own ears. After initially avoiding the question, my wife’s ultimate response was that some day she wants to be married in the Mormon Temple.

Her response almost made me laugh out loud and then I quickly realized the seriousness of the situation. My wife wants to get married in the LDS Temple so bad, that instead of worrying about how to save money and pay for the eventual wedding of her own daughter, she’s more concerned about Internet dating and going through an expensive divorce so that she can get married a third time and live happily ever after. It would seem to me that there are controls or commandments that she has neglected. Commandments such as, “You must not be envious of your neighbor’s goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

I am not a member of the Mormon Church and have no desire to become a member and certainly don’t believe that I can speak on behalf of the church but I grew up in Salt Lake City with "real" members that are true believers of the LDS religion and I find it is so ironic that my wife is suddenly willing to throw her family under the bus in order to be married in the Temple of a church that believes so strongly in family and in fundamental family values. She’s throwing away a family that she literally begged me for. Instead of following the teachings of the church prophet Joseph Smith, my wife is following the lifestyle of Susan Smith who was charged with murder for drowning of her two children in order to pursue a relationship with another man. There is a definite pattern and that is why I am often concerned about the safety of my children when they are in her care.

Interestingly, one of my wife’s most intimate and emotional email exchanges (and subsequent telephone conversations) came from a member of one of these Mormon singles websites at the beginning of June in 2008. Shortly after attending her sister’s beautiful “Christian” wedding in the state of Washington, my wife returned home and unpredictably filed for a divorce.

Today (05/06/09), I called my son to see how his day went and found that his mother had left him asleep in the car while she and our daughter went into a big box club store to go shopping. Naturally my concern was for his safety, so I asked him to check to see if the doors were locked and in doing so he set off the alarm. He was frightened by the alarm and kept asking, “What should I do Dad? What should I do?” So I told him to calm down and get out of the car and stay on the phone while going into the store and to go to the front desk. Once there he gave the phone to the clerk and I explained the situation to her and asked that she page his mother.

I’m not sure at what age a child can be left alone in a car by themselves, so about an hour later I called the police department for the city where the store is located to find out and they explained that it depends on the maturity of the child. However, their concern was that it was a hot day that day and my son could have been overcome since the windows were rolled up. Even though I’ve explained this to her before, several times, I’m not sure that my wife understands the dangers of leaving children alone or leaving them in a car but then again, maybe she does. Who knows? The police dispatcher suggested having an officer come to our house as a “public service” to explain it to both of us at the same time. At this point, I’m trying to figure out how to approach that without it becoming a big scene.

I can only hope that someday CA909 / CArmstrong909/ShadowUS/Gemini92373/CA92373 will come to the realization that even though our relationship was not built on romance, like we had both hoped (or at least as I had hoped), I brought her here to the United States at her continued insistence and pleading after a short period of postal correspondence but ultimately with friendship and romance in mind. Much like my son, all that I wanted was a “normal” family. But, for various reasons, a romantic relationship and “normality” did not develop. As I look back at it now, it’s easy to see why. We have religious differences. We have different goals and objectives in life. We have sanitary differences. We have political differences. We have differences about material values. We have differences with regards to family commitment. During a recent trip that she took to the Philippines (07/26/09), she had more contact with her Internet boyfriends than she did with her own children. My wife has deep rooted problems with race and money. One might even go so far as to say that we have a myriad of “irreconcilable differences”. But most important, we have an unbelievable inability to have a constructive conversation. Simply stated, we cannot communicate. It seems like every conversation ends in an argument and usually with her throwing one of her temper tantrums. There are no, “Good mornings” or “Good nights”. There are no casual conversations. There are no “Hello’s” or “Goodbyes” not even to her own children who have learned that if they want to know if she is home then they shouldn’t ask me because I won’t know. Instead, they go check the garage to see if her car is there. As a result, I only speak with my wife when it is necessary. I typically speak to her when it has to do with the children. I let her know that I am leaving so that she knows that the children are now in her care. I wish I could say that she does the same.

Yesterday (06-17-09), even though she unexpectedly took the kids to a baby sitter, she neglected to inform me and I found out by contacting my son on his cell phone. I had no idea where they were nor did I know the sitter nor did the sitter know how to contact me. Yet, later on that night, without saying hello or anything else, she abruptly asked me if I believed that the stray dog that she recently bought home had been eating rat poison from the grass in the backyard. Now, here’s the thing that gets me. She can go the whole day without communicating with me even when it comes to our children, yet she can just come into the room where I am and abruptly asked about the welfare of a dog. Unbelievable! In addition to accepting her children for what and who they are, I believe that she needs to be mature and be more concerned about their safety, health, education and welfare than that of her new found friend, i.e., the stray dog that she is still learning to care for.

On the same day (i.e., 07/13/09) that CArmstrong909 sent an email to me complaining about money that she did not make on the property in San Diego. A piece of property that she insisted that I buy or “we would be getting a divorce” and in the same email where she complained about money that she had recently spent while spending time with her own kids, she stood in line at LBC waiting to send money to her niece and nephew in the Philippines. Needless to say, she neglected to mention that in the email that she sent to me while I was at work trying to earn a living and provide the livelihood that she enjoys. Unfortunately, I found out that she was sending money during one of my daily calls to the children to see how they were doing. After bringing it to her attention, she once again justified her actions without seeing the irony of not mentioning the money sent to the Philippines in her email to complain about money that she supposedly didn’t have, “I don't send them much, just enough for [niece] and [nephew], to get by for the whole month.” Amazingly, she had no complaints prior to her filing for divorce when I was routinely paying the cost for her and her mother to ship boxes of care packages to her family. Obviously, my offers of assistance stopped immediately after learning of her filing for divorce. What is really interesting about this particular incident is that when I mentioned this to her, our son was there and she looked at him as if to say, “Why did you tell on me?” The truth of the matter is that he said nothing, other than where they were. It was by her own admission to my point blank question that let me know that she had sent money to the Philippines.

The other thing that I find so amazing about this is that the niece and the nephew are in their twenties and the niece has a child and has never been married. I recently learned that my wife leads some of her Internet boyfriends to the niece. Here again, instead of worrying about how to prepare our children for the upcoming school year, she’s more concerned about trying to provide assistance to people for which we have no legal obligation. That night, while the kids and I were eating dinner, I asked her if she would sign the tax return for the state of Idaho so that the entire return could be used to purchase clothes for “our” kids. While in the downstairs bedroom and on the computer, of course, she replied that she would only sign if she gets her half. Her behaviors and responses never cease to surprise me.

She spends hours on the computer and/or the Internet socializing, while her children are right *Email Blocked* not spend some quality time with them? Why not teach them about their Filipino heritage and the Tagalog language like other Asian cultures? Why not prepare them for the upcoming school year? Why not…? Why not…? Why not…? There are so many things that she could be doing with them, yet by choice (or DNA as she calls it) she chooses to spend time socializing with people that she does not even know and, more importantly, people that do not know her or her real situation. I don’t dare bring this subject up with her for the retribution that it might bring to the kids. If it is that stressful for her to spend quality time with them then I’m sure that they would receive the brunt end of that stress. The last time I did that, I received an email about the how much money she spent during the day with them and how much it costs to go to each place that they visited. You would think that a person that supposedly believes in family and family values and family home evenings would come to the conclusion that they should probably spend more time with their children than with the computer or more time with their children than people on the Internet, especially those people that the individual doesn’t even know.

I recently (08/22/09) received an email from our son’s teacher and in it she indicated that our son was misbehaving in her class. In the email, the teacher indicated that she was aware that our son was dealing with “issues” at home and wondered if it might be contributing to his *Email Blocked* my reply, I let the teacher know that our son was indeed dealing with “issues” but that he would also have to be mature enough to deal with them in manner that is not disrupted to his future or to the class. I also mentioned that I would be talking to our son to ensure that he understood the consequences of his actions – regardless of any issues that he might be dealing with. The incident at school occurred on a Friday. I waited until Sunday to see if my wife would mention anything about it since she was included in the email from the teacher and even takes them to school.

Early Sunday morning, about 6:30 AM, I could hear that she was awake and decided to ask her if she was aware of the incident. I wasn’t surprised to find that she was already on the Internet playing Farm Town and probably having her other “Internet discussions” as well. I attempted to make casual conversation by asking her about Farm Town and how it worked but her unpleasant character reared its ugly head and she was just a rude as ever. So I decided to just cut to the chase and asked if she was aware that our son had got in trouble at school on Friday. Even though she is the one that is physically with the children when I’m away, it was obvious that she had no idea what had gone *Email Blocked* I asked her to read the email that the teacher had sent to both of us and that just irritated her even more as she indicated that she didn’t’ receive any such email. So, I printed off my copy, which included her email address, and showed it to her. Once again she worked herself to the point of frustration and she even threatened to call the police. (I wish I was making this up. Here it was 6:30 on a Sunday morning and she’s more interested in her Internet “activities” than discussing her own son’s behavior at school.) I tried to explain it to her by asking why it is that even though I’m away on business, I know more about what is going on with our son at school than she does and she is physically there with him and even takes them to school.

Recently, (06/13/09) our son, got in trouble while swimming in the backyard with his friends. I caught him urinating behind some bushes. There is a bathroom in the house, which is less than 20 yards away. Then, just this last weekend (06/28/09), I was horrified as the kids and I watched as their mother got out of the pool and stood over the some bushes and begin to urinate. Naturally, my son’s reaction was, if she can do it then I should be able to do it and he even said something to that effect. I really wished that they hadn’t seen her do that and hoped that the neighbors hadn’t seen it either. Needless to say, yesterday my daughter emulated her mother by doing the exact same thing. It was obvious that she needed to use the restroom since she was doing the “I have to go” dance and I asked her several times if she needed to go but I believe that she intentionally waited until she got outside so that she could mimic her mother’s behavior. After doing that, I mentioned it to my wife and she had absolutely no reaction and nothing to say. You have to wonder what goes on in her head.

About this same time, there was an incident whereby my son tried to explain to his mother that I had warned him that one of friends is a bad influence and all that she could do is say to him was, “Why? Because he goes to our church? No, it is your dad that is a bad influence.” After saying that, she asked the friend when his father would be completing his medical schooling. In her mind, since the friend is LDS and since the friend’s father is going to med-school, it means that he is a good kid. Yet, I have seen that kid do and say things that are entirely inappropriate while being at our house and I have confronted him with it and told him that he would not be able to say certain things or act a certain way while in our home. I attempted to explain to my wife that she needs to be aware of her environment and make sure that our children’s friends are behaving while at our home. I don’t want that kid (or anyone else) saying things that I am attempting to teach our children as being inappropriate for them to say or do.

I had brought it to our son’s attention so that he could be aware of his surroundings and make the right decisions. The least that she could do is to try and do the same without telling him that his father is a bad influence simply because she thought that I told him that because of her religion. My conversation with our son about that particular friend had absolutely nothing to do with the church and I saw no need for her to yell and scream at our son about that. When I informed her that the telephone had accidently been left off the hook during the transition from one child to the other and that I had overheard her ranting and raving, she gave an insincere apology to me and said that she was yelling because she was upset with the children. The sad thing is that I’m not the one that she should be apologizing to.

At what point will she begin to listen to what her children are trying to tell her and not let her feelings for the church cloud every conversation or even her immoral behaviors. She is so enamored with the church that I can see now she is not only unable to communicate with me but she is unable to communicate with her own children. And, more important, they are unable to communicate with her. Instead of teaching them that they shouldn’t do things such as urinate in public even in their own backyard, she’s teaching them that their attempts to communicate with here are not important. Instead, it’s more important to talk bad about someone behind their backs, especially their father.

I would hope that she would someday see that I have strived to provide for her and our family and that I am not the problem in her life or her “nemesis”, as she referred to me when discussing me with her main Internet “boyfriend”. Needless to say, I don’t anticipate an apology for what she’s done in the past or for what she is currently doing to the family that she begged me for. Nor do I anticipate a thank you for trying to put her on a path of truth and honesty. She appears to be ruining her life and if there truly is an LDS afterlife then she appears to be ruining that as well.

I find it so ironic and even hypocritical that CA909 / CArmstrong909/ShadowUS/Gemini92373/CA92373 would lead complete strangers into a sexual conversation simply because she is convinced that he is Mormon and yet when he cusses at her, my wife’s response is basically the same as his.

Now, I ask you, what Temple Recommend Mormon women, in her right mind, would ever neglect her children while having a conversation with a complete stranger about the size of her breast?

Yet, month’s later and more recent than that incident (i.e., 09/01/08) and after turning the Internet back on and getting assurances from my wife that her Internet ‘activities’ had stopped, she had another sexually oriented conversation with another “LDS” member after being warned by my attorney to discontinue these types of activities and immediately after being requested by her own children to play Wii with them upstairs. Instead, my wife denied both requests, stayed downstairs and had a sexually explicit Internet conversation with an individual that I believe is her main Internet boyfriend that she plans to visit. (The more sexually explicit portions have been excluded for obvious reasons.) Oddly enough, my wife insists that the individual is not her "boyfriend", yet this is the same individual that calls her on our son’s cell phone. Maybe I’m wrong but, isn’t it worse if he is not a boyfriend? When asked about this, she indicated that she has no shame and is not embarrassed and that she can't stop because it is part of her DNA. Even with that response, she accepts no responsibility for her own actions. Instead, she blames her mother and father.

Would a saint, purchase a ticket to leave her children for the weekend so that she could have that promised “one night stand” with a man that she doesn’t even know and has never met? Obviously, this does not sound like a saint nor does it sound like a 44 year old LDS Temple worthy women with two young *Email Blocked* would have to wonder if she intended to tell her children about her trip and if so then where did she intend to tell them that she was going? Here’s a woman that now believes that she is in love with this Internet playboy boyfriend from Virginia and during her fits of anger, she sees nothing wrong with mentioning his name and telling me that she loves him in front of our children. She has no absolutely no ability to restrain herself.

In order to go back to the Philippines for a two week visit, my wife wanted her mother to return to our house so as to watch our kids while I am at work and she repeatedly asked me if I had any extra airline tickets. (I know. Unbelievable, I couldn’t believe that she was even asking me such a thing.) During that conversation, I must have told her five or six times that I did not have any free tickets but she just didn’t get it. Even if I did, what desire would I have to share those tickets under these circumstances? She really has a hard time putting two and two together in the eyes of someone else. Somehow she can find the money to purchase a ticket to go spend the weekend with her Internet boyfriend but somehow she can’t find the money to purchase a ticket for her mother so that her mother could watch her kids while she is away.

She originally wanted her frail father to watch the kids but he became ill with prostrate problems and was hospitalized. So rather than postpone her trip and align it with my vacation, she insists that her mother return. Why the sense of urgency to suddenly go to the Philippines? When asked, the response is that she wants to see her brother and other siblings that she hasn’t seen for a while (and, as a second thought to get her teeth fixed while she’s there since it is cheaper there than here in the US.) Only after knowing that there was evidence in the form of a purchased airline ticket of her intent to spend the weekend with her Internet boyfriend did she finally tell the truth about it but she quickly responded with, “But I called it off, blah, blah, blah.” I’m not even sure if she knows it, but in my opinion, she didn’t cancel her trip to the Internet boyfriend, she merely postponed it until after getting her teeth fixed! She can hardly wait.

Recently, I shared with my wife the benefits and services of assistance that are offered by my employer to the immediate members of my family. I can only hope that she takes me up on my offer since it will not be available once our impending divorce is final. I believe that their professional assistance would be more beneficial to her than the secretive and deceptive “chatting” and cell phone conversations that she is having. I also believe that it would be more beneficial than any counseling that she is NOT receiving from her church. It would seem to me that my wife has some sort or form of mental retardation. She definitely has money retardation and now it appears that she has Mormon retardation as well.

Having read this, I’m sure that you can see that when it comes to either, money, religion or family, there is a deceptive nature within CA909 / CArmstrong909/ShadowUS/Gemini92373/CA92373 and as much as I would like to believe that she can, in reality she cannot control herself and she cannot be trusted. I believe that relationships should at least be built on trust, if nothing else. I don’t believe that I have ever lived with anyone that thinks that they have so much to hide from the people that they live with. If you have to hide it, then there is probably something wrong. I am hopeful that you find this message useful and that you understand what it is that I am asking of you and the reasons behind my request.

Here’s a person that won’t even make a local phone call to check on her own children but is still (as late as July of 2009) making long distance phone calls to check on a man that she’s never met in person – so she says and he is not even a practicing Mormon and has made plans to go meet him. His intentions are obvious and based on their discussions she apparently has the same thing in mind. When asked about it, she indicated that the phone calls to him are merely about their “friendship” but in explaining herself she became very agitated and called me weird. Not only is she a liar but she is a very confused person. I found that to be a very sad situation and decided to let the conversation end there. Prior to knowing CA909 or CArmstrong909, if someone had told me that such an individual existed, I would have had a hard time believing it myself.

Is this what the Mormon Church now teaches? Is this how it allows its members in good standing (i.e., those that are Temple worthy) to behave without retribution? It would seem to me that my wife believes that whatever religion that she tells you that she is at that time, then that is the one and only true religion. It would appear that she does not believe that the content and nature of her character are what defines her and is what people see in her.

Recently my wife called me a Muslim, as if that were something extremely bad and when speaking of her mother with the members of my wife’s Ward, my wife referred to her own mother as a “traitor” since her mother was attending the Mormon church with her and now practices Catholicism again, which is the religion that she honestly believes in. Why would an individual have such hatred for other religions? I believe that this is a learned behavior.

If you were to ask my wife why she doesn’t like Muslims or Catholics she would describe something that would be akin to the way they live, i.e., her response wouldn’t have anything to do with their religious beliefs. It seems that she never takes the time to think about how she is living her life and compare that to her religion.

Recently (i.e., 09/21/09), my brother, his wife and their toddler visited with us and during a discussion at our dinner table, my wife realized that they were Muslim. As a result, she asked a couple of questions to them that made her appear prejudice and the sad thing about it is that I don’t believe that she even realized what she was doing. The first question that she asked was, “Are there Muslim gays?” I found that so odd for anyone to ask such a question. As if to say that there are no gays in her faith. In fact, my response to her question was a quick question of my own. I asked my wife, “Are there gays in the Mormon church?” She laughingly acknowledged that there are. In my opinion, being gay has nothing to do with any religion, thus the reason why I found her question so odd. The second question that she asked was directed towards my sister-in-law and she asked her if she was twenty years younger than my brother. Once again, and maybe even unknowingly, she had prejudged them based on their religion. I was so proud of my little sister-in-law, whom I had just met in person for the first time. Her response was polite but direct. She indicated that no, she was only eight years younger than my little brother and that women sometimes mature faster than men. I couldn’t help wonder if my wife any thought about the difference between her age and mine, which is about eight years. With regards to maturity, I’m sure that she didn’t get that either. I also couldn’t help but wonder how a young Muslim woman could be so much more mature than my 45 year old LDS wife. When looking at the smiles of my young niece, it is obvious that my brother’s home is full of love. I found myself feeling very proud of my young but wise sister-in-law. She represented herself, her religion and my family well. With her line of questioning, her actions and behavior, I guess I should be glad that my wife has filed for a divorce. She certainly does not represent me or my family. In fact, I find her behavior rather embarrassing.

I see now why my wife is looking for LDS members that are outside of her Ward and that’s because the members that I have talked to see now that they are being used and taken for granted.

On the 31st of August of 2008, my wife called the police when she discovered that the children and I would be escorting her mother to a local Catholic church for Sunday services. I can only imagine that the responding officers must have also thought that she is acting crazy. After determining what was really going on, they let us go to Church and I believe that the children enjoyed being away from such a traumatic situation. Understandably, they don’t like to see it when the police come around. What a memory to have for a little kid. I couldn’t help but wonder what in the world did my wife expect the police to do? I honestly believe that she thought that they would be Mormons in white shirts and a tie and would come to her rescue by telling me that I can’t take my kids to any church other than the Mormon Church. Even in Salt Lake City, where the population is predominantly Mormon, a person would have had to been a complete idiot to expect that to happen. The next day, my wife had one of her most intimate sexual conversations with her main Internet “boyfriend”. I guess it was her way of retaliating. In reality, it was her way letting her “DNA” control her lifestyle instead of letting her religious beliefs control her lifestyle.

About a year later, (i.e., 08-13-09), I ended up calling the police on my wife. I create computer programs that are used at my client sites and for work I have to make sure that the programs can be easily installed prior to getting at the client’s site. In order to do that, quite often I will use one of the computers at home to go through the installation process ahead of time. One night I was doing just that while using one of the laptops as matter of convenience since I could do it while sitting on my bed. After coming home from the gym, my wife came into my bedroom and noticed what I was doing and insisted that I give her “her” laptop because she wanted to get on the Internet. It was late and I was in no mood for an argument so I let her take it. I tried to explain to her what it was that I was doing but with her self-centered attitude she just couldn’t comprehend it. As a result, I ended up using one of the workstations in the office downstairs which meant going back-and-forth between upstairs and downstairs computers.

Later on that night, after I had gone to bed, she came into my bedroom again and threw “her” laptop on my chest and said that now I could use it. I explained to her that I was now done with what I needed to do and it was now 2:00 o’clock in the morning. Later that day, I came to the conclusion that having the Internet in our home was just causing too much trouble so, once again, I disconnected it and called the service provider and cancelled the service. That night when my wife discovered that she couldn’t get on the Internet she got upset and threw one of her infamous temper tantrums. She stormed in and out my bedroom with various threats and reasons why she needed the Internet. She eventually left my bedroom while saying that she was going to cancel the Internet service. I guess she didn’t realize that I had already done that. Her responses seem so odd times.

Later on that night, while I was asleep, she left the downstairs bedroom where she sleeps and came to the upstairs bedroom while yelling and making threats of throwing my work computers in the pool. As she grabbed one of them a struggle ensued and I managed to get one back but then she picked up my cell phone and threw it downstairs. At that point, I decided to call the police. When they got there, I explained the situation to both of the responding officers. Through conversation with one of them, I discovered that the officer was LDS. During my wife’s conversations with that officer, my wife represented herself well by displaying her self-centered nature and telling the officer that she was going to take the kids to a shelter. I was surprised and could hardly believe what I was hearing. The kids were sound asleep. They had not heard any of the commotion and she wanted to take them to a shelter because she couldn’t get on the Internet to find out how her boyfriend was doing or to have one of her sexually oriented conversations with him. During her conversation with the police, she displayed other behaviors that I believe made the officer see how she is and what was really going on. The police officer tried to explain to her what she needed to do in order to get along peacefully in the house during the divorce process but she just didn’t seem to be getting it. During my conversations with that same officer, I explained what she had done with regards to my work equipment and the officer indicated that if she had destroyed it then that would be considered vandalism. In response, I mentioned that I wanted to press charges for the assault but the officer indicated that it might not be worth the effort. The police officer and I were talking while upstairs in my bedroom and as he was leaving the officer indicated that if my wife continued that sort of behavior then she would be going to jail. At that, I mentioned to the officer that my wife was the one that really needed to hear that. While downstairs having a similar conversation with her, I believe that the officer made it perfectly clear to her that her behavior was unacceptable was leading her down a path to incarceration.

At one point, I asked my mother-in-law why she was attending the Mormon Church and she indicated that she was trying to help her daughter. I found it odd but also very moving, that a mother would basically give up her own religious belief (or at least put them on hold) in order to provide some assistance and solace to her daughter. Ironically, I can’t imagine my wife ever doing the same for her daughter or any member of her family. Instead, my wife is the type of individual that would call the police on her family for not being or for not wanting to be Mormon (or whatever religion she is practicing at the time).

It would seem to me that there is a commandment that says, “You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy.” There are those that would argue which day is the Sabbath but I can’t help but recall that once, when I was not home, my wife told a local contractor that I had hired that he could not work at our home because it was Sunday. Then, shortly after the contractor and his crew left, she went to work. In her mind, there is always a legitimate justification for her own actions but never a legitimate justification for someone else.

I know Gay couples that, when it comes to family and marriage, they are more in line with the fundamental teachings of the LDS Church than my wife ever will be and only a hypocrite like her would discriminate against a group of people such as Gays and Muslims while, at the same time, deceiving her own family, cheating on her legal marriage, and having sexually oriented conversations with men that she has actually never met and don’t really know but makes plans to meet for one night stands.

Being a member of this LDS website, I would hope that you take your religion serious and not “toy” with it as my wife does. She believes that she is Mormon but in reality the only thing that is LDS about my wife are the temple garments that the church allows her to wear. Every time she begins a sentence with, “As Mormons, we believe…” I get sick to my stomach because I know that she’s merely repeating what she has been told or what she has read about the LDS church. What she should say, is “As Mormons, we practice…” In fact, I’m beginning to question the extent to which she is even a Christian let alone a Mormon. When asked about her singles website Internet activities, she once replied, “Well, at least I only go on the LDS singles websites.” She is so brainwashed and enamored with this one religion that in her mind, as long as she only goes to the LDS singles websites or as long as she her desires to have sex with another man is with an LDS man then its okay. It’s legitimately justified. She simply doesn’t get it. She doesn’t see that it’s wrong in either case. In fact, one might argue that it’s wrong “especially” since she goes to LDS singles websites if she is truly LDS. I see now, first hand, what is meant by Stockholm syndrome.

Having read this entire message, you’re probably wondering how this mess began. It did not begin with the train incident as her home teacher might expect since that is what he was told. Simply stated, it began with the receipt of email alerts and cell phone alerts from Southwest Airlines about withdrawals from my Rapid Rewards or frequent flyer account.

To my surprise, my wife requested that airline tickets be issued from my account for her and her mother to attend her sister’s wedding back in June of 2008. After having a conversation with her about - at least - notifying me when she was going to do something like that, I thought the issue was resolved. And yet, soon after that I received another email and cell phone alert from Southwest Airlines indicating that someone had just used my account again to obtain another airline ticket.

After that, and after being warned by family and friends that my wife might be having an affair, I decided that I should probably look into why she was so insistent on accessing my account without informing me as well as why she needed to spend so much time on the Internet literally behind closed (and often locked) doors. What I found shocked and amazed me. And, to think, I came to her defense when initially warned by family and friends.

I see now that my wife has a miserable character that sees life through the glasses of misery and blame’s her misery on everyone else but herself. At one point during our marriage, she had her mother performing all of her responsibilities at home and me paying all of her expenses while at the same time I was insisting that our children attend the LDS church with her every Sunday. She was towards the top of Maslow’s “Needs Hierarchy” and that provided her with leisure time that she chose to spend on the Internet chasing single LDS boyfriends and even stalking the playboy in Virginia. That also provided her with the financial freedom to make money that cannot be accounted for and certainly was not used for any funds other than her own. If my wife treats her family like this during good times then I would hate to see how she treats her family during the hard times that are just around the corner. It seems a bit odd but after almost 14 years of marriage and two kids, my wife is still looking for Mr. Right.

My wife’s mother could no longer deal with the situation and has since left and returned and left and returned yet again. I no longer insist that our children attend church with her. Because of her “DNA” as she puts it, which I interpret as her own willingness or choice to not change the content of her character, my wife is keeping herself from ever being a “true” LDS in practice as I would know it as well as from walking any religious truth in faith as anyone would know it. I come to this conclusion. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to convince the world that your religion is the one and only “true” religion if you yourself do not follow the fundamental and basic teachings of that religion, especially during those times when you think that neither God nor your fellowman is watching.

I don’t know the definition of “bi-polar” but my wife’s behavior has to be a close description. Earlier today, 03/01/09, my wife tried to get our daughter to go to church with her. Our daughter was happily playing outside with a friend who, at my wife’s requests, had spent the night. So obviously my daughter said no – after all she was playing with her best friend. After being turned down, my wife looked at me as she was leaving and said, “This is why we’re getting a divorce.” I had nothing to do with the situation. Then, hours later, after returning home from church, my wife asked, “Are you sure that you want to get a divorce?” I couldn’t help but remind her that I wasn’t the one that filed for a divorce!

During a recent fit of anger, my wife said that she hopes that the judge presiding over our divorce is Mormon. To that, I say this. “Me too.” In fact, not only do I hope that the individual believes in the LDS faith but is also a Mormon that was raised in Salt Lake City, Utah. Having been raised with them, there appears to be differences.

By my account, my wife has broken at least five of the Ten Commandments during our short period of time together and I see a definite pattern developing and can’t help but wonder which commandment will be broken next. Recently, when I informed her that I requested that the police get involved with the telephone calls that are being received on our son’s cell phone from her main Internet playboy boyfriend in Virginia, her response leads me to believe that commandment #9 would be next. Yet, this is a person that has a Temple Recommend from the LDS Church. I don’t know about God and unlike many religions, I will not pretend to speak on God’s behalf. However, I do know that history will be the judge of the type of person that we were during our life here on Earth and how well we treated our fellow man. Just as we judge our ancestors, historians will be our judge as well.

A physical struggle took place recently (i.e., 09-27-09) and was due to the children once again trying to tell my wife that they did not want to attend church with her that day but she just would not listen to them or respect their requests. The day before, I had asked my son if he wanted to attend church the next day and he indicated that he did not. I asked him several times and his answer was always the same. I even mentioned to him that his decision would probably result in an argument with his mother. As result of my conversation with him, I decided to defend their decision not to go to church that day. During the struggle, my daughter and I closed the door to my room and my wife decided to throw a temper tantrum by pounding and kicking on the door while our son was on the other side where she was. During an attempt to let him into the room, my wife fell.

A week later, after attending a Pilipino Missionary reunion, she informed me that she wanted to finalize our divorce and I whole heartily agreed. During that mild mannered conversation she indicated that she didn’t want anymore bruises. I was totally surprised to find out that during the struggle she was somehow bruised and I figured that it must have happened when she fell. I asked her point blank how she got the bruise and she agreed that it happened during her fall. Shortly after finding out that she got hurt during the struggle, I thought about how she lies, the pattern of commandments that she is breaking and what lie she must have told her mother about the incident. So I decided to ask her mother if she was aware of my wife’s bruise on her shoulder. Her mother indicated that she was aware of the bruise and that my wife did not tell her about the fall but instead let her believe the worse.

The


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