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Wow! I thought I would be “offline” longer. I
was going out to my son’s home where there is no
reception (of just about anything!) to help my
daughter get materials for a chicken coop (new
skills needed for us—but we like to learn new
things!) Serendipitously, a friend’s dad had
built a new coop and she is recycling his old
material. So, I am back. However, being new to the
whole social-cyber circle, I simply have to limit
my time online. How do you folks do it? I want to
be available to meet people 24/7 but I am human
and require eating and sleeping….then there is
the thing called work, etc. Yes. Those of you who
are seeking an independently-wealthy lady of
leisure can just stop reading. HOWEVER, if you are
interested/capable of changing my status to that,
READ ON!
I am happy to have met very intelligent, caring
and cheerful brethren who are conversant,
interesting as well as interested in fostering a
friendship. Whether that friendship flowers into
marriage or not, is anyone worse off for having
made new friends? Of course not!
I love the gospel and know that marriage is
required for the highest rewards from Father in
Heaven. I prefer looking toward the horizon and
not backwards. I am interested in creating future
chapters of my life story with a like-minded
priesthood holder who loves God and wants to serve
Him.
Two people deciding to create an eternal family
unit is an AWESOME experience and what they build
together will not look like anything that either
of them has ever done before. My children are
grown and the role of father is still needed in
their lives for priesthood blessings and advice,
leadership, and example.
The synergy of two like-minded people merging
their lives can create anything they truly want to
create. Those kinds of hopes and dreams are
created as thoughts and ideas are intertwined in
honest communication. The two people together will
create more than the sum of what the two
separately can do.
Teaching and learning are my strongest interests.
Homeschooling my kids was great fun and rewarding
but not our first choice. Events made that choice
reasonable and I just loved it. Our schedule was
flexible and we could enjoy San Diego like
tourists! I learned a lot about teaching and
learning through that experience and added it to
my prior training from college days.
After the divorce I married again and I returned
to the workplace in retail for a brief time and
then worked for CA Unemployment Insurance before
having the fortune to receive a Masters Degree in
Teaching and Learning from the University of San
Diego. Working full time and going to school full
time while married with young children, took a
concerted effort from the whole family. I
appreciate their help and it has paid off for all
concerned.
During the course of study, I received an offer to
join a new charter school to market their program
and open a new extension. I have been there ever
since. I love helping families keep the love of
learning alive and make academic studies a
full-time, enjoyable part of their lives.
Encouraging life-long learners and creative
problem-solvers is the core of my professional
work. And as a leader in church with children, my
focus is really the same thing: teaching and
learning!
Growing up, my family was very community-service
oriented and always seemed involved in a project
of sorts. My dad was an educator and my mother a
columnist for our local paper and they had eight
children. I was number four. In the summer after
(college) graduation, I was baptized and spent
that summer reading every church book I could get
my hands on hoping to catch up with all those
people who had been in the church their whole
lives! I married in the Salt Lake Temple the
following year and we lived in Provo and Salt Lake
for a few years before moving to San Diego.
Being raised in the South with land, rivers, and
awesome vegetation everywhere, it took awhile for
me to adjust to San Diego. Now, finally, I
absolutely love it here. The variety in climate is
terrific! All you have to do is travel 45 minutes
in a different direction to have a different
weather forecast. As a destination for
vacationers, in San Diego, it is always easy to
find wonderful museums, libraries, concerts,
plays, etc.
Last year I volunteered at the Starlight Opera
House where the live action on the stage comes to
an abrupt stop each time the huge airplanes go
over during a performance. I guess I am still a
Southern Belle: although now that refers more to
Southern California.
As I encouraged and observed my children and
fulfilled a variety of church callings throughout
the years, my own interests have expanded. Beach
bonfires, camping, etc. From years in the YW
program, I learned to love setting goals and
meeting them. I believe in a “return and
report” way of life: Plan, do, evaluate, go
forward. I LOVE New Year’s Resolutions and
enjoy making progress in a balanced way in life.
I set intellectual, spiritual, physical,
emotional, social, and family goals each year. I
celebrate progress and learn patience when I have
to keep an unmet goal on the sheet for the next
“go around”. I try to follow Brigham Young's
advice to sleep 8 hours, work 8 hours, study for
four hours and have fun for four hours each day.
My children follow a similar pattern in their
lives. FUN deserves more respect!
We have a variety of philosophies and goals in our
family, but are united in the fact that we live
connected, passionate involved lives. Don’t get
me wrong: serendipity has its place! When I am
well-organized and focused on a path, I am in a
positive position to take advantage of the
unplanned opportunities that come my way. An
agenda with all things planned or a “get up and
go” trip are both welcome events.
For health reasons, I became actively involved
with a health food company and have done quite
well in my spare time with it. Our family is used
to eating well and caring for our bodies. I am
comfortable using the tools of both western and
eastern medicine.
Understanding the role of food, exercise, water
and attitude in maintaining health has served our
family very well. Priesthood blessings and
healings experienced remind me that after all we
can do, the fact is the Lord has provided all we
need for happiness in this world if we are
obedient and faithful in following his plan of
happiness.
Since families are forever, I made the goal to
provide activities to make strong ties among my
children to strengthen the family relationships. I
met that goal by inviting them to join me for
Sunday Dinner weekly, with their friends, spouses,
children, etc. Each knows that he or she is
welcome yet free to make other plans as well. Some
weeks there are dozens of people here for dinner
and other weeks just a couple of us. Either way, I
love spending time with my family and listening to
the things that they are learning in their lives
as they work through the problems and
opportunities that come their way. I TRY to only
give advice when asked. And always give advice
with no strings attached. I believe in the gospel
principle of agency and self-reliance balanced
with love of family and supporting each other’s
efforts and interests.
My patriarchal blessing says I am to gather all my
forces together to complete my family history.
The new technologies for gathering the data needed
for temple work are wonderful. Much has been done,
but my goal is to complete the four generation
group sheets and have the work done for all
eligible deceased on them.
While I have enjoyed years of being a soccer mom,
basketball mom, choir mom, and band mom and more,
with my children grown, my work with the children
in our school keeps me on my toes. I spend my work
day listening to and discussing the teaching and
learning of children in a consultation setting
with their parent(s). San Diego offers such a wide
range of activities for all ages that there is no
end of ideas of great places to go, things to do
and people to meet. I am always grateful for such
a rewarding way to make a living. It keeps me in
touch daily with families, children, and
learning.
With school breaks, I get to “relive” my
favorite lifestyle which is that of full-time
homemaker. There is nothing better! I take time to
work on setting personal goals for the upcoming
year. Singing in our stake Christmas choir with
two of my daughters is a highlight of this
year’s Christmas break. Another daughter just
returned from volunteering in an orphanage in
Central America. We spent one day searching out
awesome ingredients for a traditional holiday
fruit drink that she prepared for our Noche Buena.
A grand accomplishment was an “earthworm farm”
made with my grandson: plastic container filled
with dirt, rotting leaves and earth worms! He is
going to take care of it for me!
I love my life and am quite happy. That is
actually the predicament. It is tempting to just
“live out my days” and keep moving merrily
along. It is simpler that way, BUT is it the right
thing for me to do? Home Teachers, sons with the
priesthood, other friends and so forth are willing
to come give blessings, help with other priesthood
issues, etc. But an honest, truth-seeker who
honors and applies priesthood actually being a
regular part of my daily living is a heavenly
thought. I am not perfect. He (whomever he is) is
not perfect. But I am willing to seek out one who
honors his priesthood and to whom it would be a
delight to have the husband’s role in my home.
Serving in the church in whatever callings may be
asked of us is something I look forward too. I
need to have patience with the process. I know
that the Lord will help me know which steps to
take if I am on his path in this endeavor.
The first marriage may have lasted for the planned
eternity. We had everything we needed. If not for
mishandled emotions, unrealistic expectations, and
much needed anger-control and better
problem-solving tools---on the part of each of
us… we would still be married today! We were
blessed with so much and lost it. Bitter for
years, we are friends now. That friendship brought
mixed blessings. For a while my younger children
and I suffered a sort of “Disney’s Parent Trap
Syndrome,” expecting everything to just
miraculously work itself out some way somehow. The
reality is that a re-uniting is not going to
happen.
You may be asking why I joined an LDS personal
site, if I am so busy and happy! I want to have a
celestial marriage some day soon. That’s why.
The second marriage was entered into after a very
brief “getting to know you” period and we
found out (during years of effort) that we had
very different long term goals. We ended the
marriage and remain friends who have very
different long term goals! More open communication
and prayerful consideration will help me in this
pursuit.
While I am happy and could very well remain single
for the rest of my life if needed, from the gospel
perspective, I know that there is much to learn in
a marriage that cannot be as effectively learned
in any other. That is why marriage is on the
“goal list” for me at this time. My Eternal
Goals include a Celestial Home and that requires a
Celestial Marriage!
I know my family is a lot of responsibility for a
husband to take on: I also know that it is worth
it. I used to tell my daughters, who wanted me to
wait and remarry their dad “someday” that my
idea of the perfect man for me to marry for time
and all eternity now would be 1. A converted
Jesuit priest who is fully dedicated to the
Restored Gospel, 2. an orphan and 3. loves my
family. (smiling)
Okay, I was not totally serious. It was just that
with all of the details in my own family, I felt
insecure in my ability to succeed in
“blending” a family. I am gaining more faith
as I read entries of valiant priesthood holders
who, for whatever reasons, have hopes of
accomplishing the magnificent goal of a celestial
marriage. It has been uplifting to
"meet" them.
Conversely, some show an arrogance and rigidity
screaming out “This is why I am single!” Some
are terrific -sounding, but seem controlling. I
try not to judge them from the site however: I
think I sound controlling on paper!
Self-control is admirable: Control over others, is
not. We have a responsibility to help each other,
but nothing warrants our wanting to control the
other. Responsibility over someone is a very
different thing than control over that person. The
first is godly and the latter is of the adversary.
Maybe a few treasured friendships will be born of
communicating through this "magic" of
technology. I love learning new perspectives and
understanding people who may see things
differently than I see things. Beauty and variety
exists among sons and daughters of God as well as
in his creation. Frankly, I love people!
I decided to attend Single Adult activities in my
stake this year as appropriate. I would expect
any other family member to attend their church
meetings, so it is hard for me to give myself a
“pass” on this despite my hesitancy. The
"in-person" meeting of other singles is
less intimidating now that I have “met” a
couple of friends online. Hopefully, I can meet a
few more new friends.
A few years ago I made a list of all of the
characteristics I wanted my celestial husband to
have. As I looked at the list, I realized that in
order for me to be a suitable spouse for a man who
would have those traits, I needed to put each of
those attributes into my own life.
Friend or Eternal Companion? Right now, that is
not the question. If you are only interested in a
"cyber-friendship", that is okey dokey
with me. Frankly, if you have actually read this
tome, I already admire your tenacity! TTFN: CJ
(I had a request to interpret “TTFN”: Ta Ta
For Now quote from Winnie the Pooh.)
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