There is a reason for this being called a "singles" website and there is a reason why "married" is not an option in the pull-down for marital status. It was probably a Freudian slip, but in her profile CA909 / CArmstrong909 mentions that money is “very” important to her but she neglects to mention that it is so important that after filing for a divorce she committed an offense by recently forging my signature on our "Federal" and State tax refund checks. It would appear that she did not read the second page of her copy of our divorce summons which addresses standard family law restraining orders. You should seriously consider your involvement with CA909 / CArmstrong909 at this time. She is not single and you will be dragged into our divorce. When you signed up to become a member of this “singles” website, I would think that was the last thing that you had in mind.

It was recently brought to my attention that my wife is soliciting male “friendship” while using singles websites such as this one. Even though my wife has used these websites to express her ill feelings about myself and to “air her dirty laundry”, I assure you, that is not my intention. My wife has said some things about me that are not true and must be disputed. I feel that my wife is only telling you half the truth in order to get you to like her. She knows that if you knew her real character then there would be no possibility of that happening. My wife is not being honest with you in representing our current marital status nor is she being honest with you about our living arrangement. In essence, my wife, who goes by CA909 or CArmstrong909 on these websites, is deceiving you just as she as been deceiving me, her family, her friends and her church. She has been living a deceptive, secret life on the Internet since April of this year. As you know, electronic messages can be very personal and they also can be very impersonal. I’m writing this message to let you know that my family is real. Although this appears to be a television soap opera, the situation and the people involved are real and as a result, I interpret the risks that go along with this situation as being just as real.

Even though my wife has expressed her desire to get a divorce on almost a “monthly” basis, the individual that goes by member ID CA909 or CArmstrong909 on these websites is not divorced. My wife’s monthly threats of divorce have been going on since the beginning of our marriage, which was almost 14 years ago. My wife wants all the benefits and comforts of our marriage but does not want to be fully committed to the marriage. My wife has been on these websites since April and only recently filed for a divorce. Interestingly, April is also the date that she entered on her divorce papers for when she separated from her husband. To my surprise, I did not know that we were separated. In fact, until July 2nd, I had no idea that my wife had even filed for a divorce, meaning that we were not and currently are not separated, either legally or physically. Just before filing for a divorce, she was caught living her secret Internet life and sending sexy pictures to her Internet male “friends”. Since filing for a divorce appears to be a reaction to being caught, it would lead one to believe that she had total disregard for what a divorce would do to her children and her disregard will have an impact in the way the live for the rest of their lives. Even though she is demonstrating that she is no longer fully committed to our marriage, we currently live together in the same house. In a message such as this, I don’t want to be too explicit so I will leave it to your imagination as to why I was unaware that we were “supposedly” separated. I guess we were separated whenever it was convenient to her for us to be separated in her own mind.

Also living with us is her elderly mother whom I brought over (along with my wife’s elderly father) from the Philippines. My wife uses her mother to “assist” her with her responsibilities *Email Blocked*ally, my wife used her own mother to serve me with the divorce papers. In the Philippines, they don’t have divorce and her mother told me that she had no idea what the papers were about and I have no reason not to believe her. I explained it to her and read the portion that says, “You are being sued.”

You should also note that the pictures that my wife posted to this website are pictures that were recently taken in and around our home where we live together with our two children, ages 4 and 9. To my surprise, some of the pictures that my wife posted here were taken by and include our children whom I’m sure had no idea that their mother would use their pictures to post on a ‘singles’ website. As you can imagine, I’m concerned about how this might affect them later in their lives. In today’s society anything and anyone can be searched on the Internet. Based on my own search results, I have no doubt that someday our children will find the many postings and “singles” website memberships that my wife belonged to during our marriage. My wife is taking us down a very dangerous path that will have an ever lasting impact on our children. My relationship is with my children and I had hoped that their life and their lifestyle would not change. But it looks like it will and I realize that I need to begin the process of figuring out how I can assist them in other ways.

Through deceptive and secretive acts like these, my wife demonstrates that she has low moral standards that are difficult for me to accept. She has definite double-standards, in that she expects me to pay for services such as the Internet and her cell phone, which she considers hers for her “private” use to talk about me behind my back and to invite her male “friends” into our home via the Internet – so far. As a result, I have no problem with getting a divorce from CA909 / CArmstrong909. In fact, based on her true nature and her recent activities when coupled with her very recent racial slurs and online slanders about me to her male “friends”, I believe that it would be in the best interest of both of us and our children. I am actually relieved that this will finally be over. In fact, I wish there was a way to expedite the process so that we could all go on with our lives. Like her mother, who has recently decided to give up the fight and go live with her other daughter, I too have given up on this 13 year struggle. I’ve learned that if you can’t trust the person that you’re married to and they insist on living a secret life behind closed doors then you have no marriage and there’s nothing to save. Unfortunately, our two children are involved and it is for that reason alone that I ask that you not contact my wife until we are legally (and physically) separated or divorced. For some strange reason, my wife has justified here actions and she does not see a problem with what she is doing. It may be a cultural difference since there is no divorce in the Philippines. Who knows? In either case, I’m hoping that you understand our laws, our culture and our customs. My wife has been doing this since April and has gone through a mental process in order to get to the point that she is right now. In her mind, we were separated in April and we are now divorced and she has even referred to me as her “ex-husband” when “chatting” with her male “friends”. For me, her family, her friends and her church members, this is a big surprise since she has been doing this in such secrecy. The process for us is just beginning and as far as our kids go, they know nothing of this. I honestly believe that my wife filed for a divorce with complete disregard of the emotional impact that it would have on our two children. For someone that professes to love the children, like she does in her profile, I find that shameful. For them, their healing process has yet to begin and that is what I would like for you to try and understand most of all. I believe that most everyone involved is now ready move on but like the state California where a lawsuit involves children I believe that their interest should come first. Unfortunately, of everyone involved, they are the ones that are truly being deceived.

My wife currently spends hours “chatting” online with her male “friends”. She is seeking “love” on singles networks while being legally married to and living with another man. My wife sends her male “friends” pictures of herself, flirtatious messages and even has cell phone conversations with them. I believe that she also exchanges gifts with them. I have watched her literally fall asleep with her hands on the keyboard of her laptop while “chatting” online. It’s truly sad because this has become a sick obsession with her. It has become her form of adult entertainment. She seems to be reverting back to her roots and the manner in which she conducted herself in the Philippines prior to her religious conversion. But now it’s under the disguise of being a member of the LDS church. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t be anything other that what she really is. There appears to be an obsessive thrill that she gets out of hearing supposed LDS men that she doesn’t really know, tell her that she is pretty and sexually desirable. I can’t help but wonder about the intent of some of those LDS men. Surely she knows their ultimate intent and I would think that there would be some question as to the temple worthiness of either party. I work in the field of computer forensics and it’s amazing to me what people will do and say when they think that neither God nor their fellow man is watching. Church members as well as her own mother have asked her to discontinue what she is doing and to pay more attention to her family duties and her responsibilities around the home. I don’t know you, but I have to presume that since you joined an LDS singles network that you are a decent individual that is in search of an honest, descent, non-deceptive and non-secretive LDS lady. I certainly don’t want to discourage you from your search. In fact, I applaud it and only wish that I had been lucky enough to find that type of individual during my similar correspondence search almost 14 years ago. I can’t stop my wife from having the type of character that she has or from taking advantage of the free will that God gave all of us or from taking advantage of the comforts that I’ve been so lucky to provide to her, her mother and our children.

I can’t defend myself during those “I’ll do it behind his back” conversations that make her look so cheap and low class. I can’t stop her from that but I can stop her from inviting her many male “friends” into our house through the Internet. Somehow, my wife has justified her misuse of our comforts such as her cell phone and the Internet, which is a comfort that I use for work and our children use for their entertainment and learning. As a father, I supervise what my children watch on TV and I especially supervise their Internet activity. I’ve told my son that he is not to watch certain cartoon’s that I’ve watched with him and found to be offensive to a particular group of people or just plain inappropriate. For his protection, I check my son’s email account on almost a daily basis. As a husband, I never dreamed that I would have to monitor my wife’s use of any comfort that our family has been so lucky to have at this time in our lives.

There are thousands of “singles” Internet websites out there and my wife can always go to one of them or sign up while using another user ID on this site. So, in order to prevent her from neglecting our children and slandering me behind by back while “chatting” online in our house, I have decided to disconnect our Internet service. It probably would have come down to that anyway as a result of the divorce. I bring this to your attention because I believe that you are being deceived and are not aware of the true nature of my wife or our situation. I have no idea what my wife’s intentions are. For all I know, she is merely playing a dangerous game with the emotions of everyone involved, including you. However, I believe that your intentions are good but there are some unknowns that you need to be aware of. I would like to request that the moderator of this website either remove or suspend the account of CA909 and/or CArmstrong909 until our divorce is final. I would also like to request of you, as a decent human being, that you try to understand that my family is real. Also try to understand that what my family is going through at this time is real. I’ve been divorced before, in fact, we both have. And, I’m sure that we can handle it in the long run but this will be a first for our two young and sometimes emotional children. After years of being threatened and terrorized by my wife with getting a divorce from their dad, I believe that even they have become callus to it. The threat no longer bears any weight to them. My nine year old is not sure what divorce is but he knows that it breaks up families. They will both be going through a lot and I don’t’ think that it would be appropriate for them to be introduced to males that their mother is “seeing” while still being married to and living with their dad. I really don’t want to have to explain that to them, especially at their young ages. So be considerate and keep in mind that they have access to my wife’s laptop. If her conversations were about the church or about them or about her family then I might understand the amount of time that my wife spends away from them while “chatting”. But some of the instant messages and emails that I’ve seen come from these “singles” websites are certainly not for the eyes of a 9 year old little LDS saint that thinks the world of his mother. It could have an ever lasting impact on his view of her as well as his view of the LDS church. Quite often he will ask his mother to read the Book of Mormon to him while he goes to sleep at night. I don’t know you and have no reason to lie to you. My intent is not to be mean spirited towards you or my wife. My wife and I have our problems and I am sure that we will work our way through the divorce process. I am not a member of the church but I would like to ask for your consideration of our situation - as it really is.

In the footer of my wife’s emails, she includes this message from the Bible, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 1:4. My wife and I don’t see eye-to-eye on many issues from our past, mostly having to deal with money and my ex-wife. But nothing that I’ve presented here is a lie and, oddly enough, I believe that if she were confronted with anything in this message, she would reluctantly agree that it is all true. As mentioned, you are being deceived in that you are not being told the whole truth. If that is the type of person that you wish to pursue having a relationship with, either long term or short term, then more power to you. At least you now know what you are getting yourself into. In my opinion, you’ll need a lot of patience, a lot of tolerance and a lot of money. It is obvious to me that my wife needs help learning how to deal with the many “issues” that she is facing in her life right now and will face in the near future. In my opinion, her biggest issue is the fact that she is unable to accept responsibility for her own actions. Instead the blame is always deflected and pointed towards someone else and, in our case, that someone else is most often me or her mother. Since she has filed for a divorce, I believe that I am being relieved of being in the “fall guy” position. I also believe that I am being relieved of the responsibility of providing assistance to her with learning right from wrong in our society and accepting responsibility for her actions. So, instead of paying for that type of help, I’m at the point of willingness to expedite the divorce and let someone else take on her issues. If you decide to have any type of relationship with my wife, I would like to request that you pursue that relationship after our divorce. I definitely would not want it to come this but, when you think about it, it is entirely within the realm of possibilities that you and the conversations that you have with my wife could be summoned as part of her recent lawsuit against me and my eventual counter-lawsuit against her. It has become obvious to me that there is no privacy when it comes to the Internet. I believe that what my wife is doing is dangerous, immature and simply state - wrong. And, I believe that most members of these “single” websites, the LDS Church and society as whole would agree that it is also immoral. I can’t believe that the church would condone such behavior. How an individual that displays these traits could receive a Temple recommend is beyond me. And, in my personal opinion, it devalues the achievement and the character of those that have honestly reached that religious goal in their life. If a society of people knows of a crime and that crime goes unpunished then I can see how it would be interpreted as acceptable behavior. Imagine if all the individuals with LDS Temple recommends acted in this manner. If this type of behavior is acceptable on the Internet then why not let her have these “sexy” conversations with the single males in the local Ward? Because what she is doing is wrong and she knows it. But since the Internet is intangible, i.e., because it’s just Internet “chatting”, there is a tendency to pretend that it is okay. I can only imagine how any society would view these actions if they were those of a Black man with two young children and a *Email Blocked* wife includes the words at the bottom of her email but she has yet to learn to “walk the truth”.

In light of the racial slurs that she has used towards me (which includes the race of her two children), and her comment to a website member about Filipina’s wanting a tall American Mormon and her response as to why she recently filed for a divorce, it would appear that CA909 / CArmstrong909 is searching for a tall, white, American Mormon so that she can get married in the LDS Temple and live (or be dead) happily ever after. Oddly enough, that sounds a lot like her first husband. Our relationship was never a relationship that was built on romance. As mentioned, it began very much like yours but through postal correspondence. If you are her latest knight in shinning white armor then you must know that you will not agree with her 100% of the time. At some point during your relationship, you will disagree and I assure you that the disagreements will become the basis for the next disagreement and will be used against you in future disagreements. My wife wants to get married in the LDS Temple, so instead of worrying about how to save money and pay for the eventual wedding of her daughter, she’s more concerned about her own next wedding.

I noticed that her filing for a divorce came without the monthly threat. I found that so surprising that I asked her about it. Her ultimate response was that some day she wants to be married in the LDS Temple. I am not a member of the church and have no desire to become a member but I grew up in Salt Lake City with "real" members that are true believers of the LDS religion and I find it so ironic that my wife is suddenly willing to throw her family under the bus in order to be married in the Temple of a church that believes so strongly in family and family values. Instead of following the teachings of the church prophet Joseph Smith she is following the lifestyle of Susan Smith who Susan Smith was charged with the murder by drowning of her two young sons in order to pursue a relationship with another man. Interestingly, one of my wife’s most intimate and emotional email exchanges (and subsequent telephone conversations) came from a member of one of these LDS websites at the beginning of June. Shortly after attending her sister’s wedding, my wife returned home and ‘unpredictably’ filed for a divorce – in June. I can only hope that someday CA909 / CArmstrong909 will come to the realization that even though our relationship was not built on romance, I brought her here from the Philippines after a short period of postal correspondence at her insistence but with romance in mind. For various reasons, a romantic relationship did not develop and since there are now two children involved, I believe that we both need to be mature enough to accept that fact. I would hope that she would someday see that I have strived to provide for her and our family and that I am not the problem in her life. Needless to say, I don’t anticipate an apology for what she’s done or for what she is currently doing to her family. Nor do I anticipate a thank you for trying to put her back on the path of truth and honesty.

I find it ironic and even hypocritical that CArmstrong909 would say things such as the following to a stranger. Even leading a stranger on into a sexual conversation simply because she is convinced that he is LDS and yet when he swears at her, CArmstrong’s response is basically the same as his.

I am a little naughty too
I need to make dinner now hope you can come and dine with us (and then immaturely goes on to tell this stranger what part of the state she lives in.)
I will just kiss u goodnight
I am kissing u again
don't say expletive on me, LDS people don't do that. You have no right


Yet month’s later, here's a recent (09/01/08) conversation that my wife had with another LDS member after being warned by my attorney to discontinue these activities and immediately after being requested by her children to play a game with them upstairs. She denied both requests and had a sexually explicit Internet conversation instead. (The more sexually explicit portions have been excluded for obvious reasons.) Oddly enough, my wife insists that the individual is not her "boyfriend". When asked about this, she indicated that she has no shame and is not embarrassed and that she can't stop because it is part of her DNA.

"gotta go baby
love you
love your blue eyes
blond hair
I will try to call you later
your cute dimple
your blue sad eyes
love them
They are kinda tender, gentle
but
ok
see you
in my dreams
bye
I will be waiting for our one night stand"

Obviously, this does not sound like a 44 year old LDS women with two young *Email Blocked*ly, I shared with my wife the benefits and services of assistance that are offered by my employer to my immediate family members. I can only hope that she takes me up on my offer since it will not be available once the divorce is final. I believe that their professional assistance would be more beneficial to her than the informal secretive and deceptive “chatting” and cell phone conversations that she is having. Having read this, I’m sure that you can see that when it comes to money, religion or family, there is a deceptive character within CArmstrong909 and she cannot be trusted. I believe that relationships should be built on trust. I am hopeful that you find this useful and that you understand what it is that I am asking of you and the reasons behind my request. Is this what the Mormon Church now teaches? Is this how it allows its members in good standing (i.e., Temple Recommends) to behave?

It would seem to me that my wife believes that whatever religion that she tells you that she is at the time then that is the true religion. It would appear that she does not believe that the content and nature of her character are what defines her and is what people see in her. Recently she called me a Muslim, as if that were something bad and when speaking of her mother with the members of my wife’s LDS Church, she referred to her mother as a “traitor” for once converting to Mormonism and now practicing Catholicism, which is the religion that her mother truly believes in, instead of Mormonism. In my opinion, my wife’s DNA (as she puts it) is keeping her from being a true LDS in practice as well as from walking any religious truth. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to convince the World that your religion is the one true religion if you yourself do not follow the fundamental and basic teachings of that religion, especially during those times when you think that neither God nor your fellowman is watching.